Skiba brings the barrel of the gun to my forehead and pushes me back. “There is nothing else in the world I want more than to wipe you off.” His lips curl, his nose crinkling in hatred. “And now I get a chance to. Fuck Tsariuk and your deal. Truth is? Butcher will be happy for this favor. You should’ve kept me around, Raven. Should’ve respected me.”
“You have to earn respect,” I hiss.
“Finish him!” one of the guys barks.
“Noooo!” a scream pierces the air, but much farther away. I turn to see Maddy thrashing in Nilanski’s arms. “Raven, we’ll make a deal with them. I’ll make a deal,” she shouts.
The atrocious thought of what she just suggested makes my insides twist in disgust.
“Aww, look at this,” the rasp comes from Skiba, making me see red and wanting to blow this place up. “Last chance,” he shouts back to her as Nilanski struggles to drag her away. “You come with us, sweetie, and we leave him alive. Otherwise, it’s time.”
“Yes!” she shouts in determination.
“Nooo—” I try to break out, but the chain almost suffocates me, making my vision blur.
I can’t pass out.
I can’t let this happen.
“Don’t be pathetic, Skiba,” I rasp, my throat closing, pain making me dizzy. “You have me.”
“This is amusing,” Skiba says, waiting. They are all waiting. But there’s no other way out of this. She is not the way. She’s my everything. I wanted to give her freedom from her fucked-up father. And I’ll sacrifice my own for her.
I turn to meet her eyes, and I see pity in them, the last fucking thing I ever wanted her to feel.
“Step away, beautiful girl,” I say. “Please,” I beg for the first time in my life. “If you don’t, I will never forgive you.”
Her eyes are full of tears.
“Please,” I whisper. “Please, Maddy.” I shake my head.
If I ever begged for anything, it wouldn’t be my life. It would be her to walk away from me right now. Oh, the irony.
I shift my eyes to Nilanski and motion for him to move away.
Guns are cocked as he drags her backward, the only guy I’m okay with to do so. She’s viciously trying to get away, but he won’t let her.
“Rave!” she screams, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Skiba tsks. “Well, there’s that. I guess it’s just you.”
I watch Nilanski dragging Maddy behind the line of guards. They start stepping backward slowly, carefully, guns pointing at the enemies. But my eyes are only on Maddy, catching the last traces of her until she disappears in the jungle with the guards, and I know she’s safe.
My head is pounding. The world gets dizzy. She’s out of sight, the last of my guards backing away into the jungle.
Relief washes over me. And another feeling—despair, something that I felt only a few times in my life. When I learned that Emily overdosed. When I thought I lost Maddy. When I thought Sonny was in danger and there was nothing I could do.
And now, knowing that Maddy is gone.
I wish I’d told her that no other person in this world made my heart beat so hard.
That her smile can heal the harshest memories.
That love is a weapon that can slay a person but also the biggest mercy that can bring hope to a death-row inmate.
But it’s too late.
Skiba scowls as he presses the gun barrel to my temple.