Page 132 of Raven

I walk out from behind the bushes and start a conversation with Bo, snapping my fingers at the bartender for another cocktail. I don’t turn around or look at him, though I know he saw me and is watching me. I gulp the cocktail, then another, and I start dancing by myself.

It’s getting dark. The giant pool changes colors from neon blue to emerald to dangerous orange. I dance like I used to when I wanted to draw men’s attention, letting my hips swing to the music, closing my eyes, feeling the rhythm.

I don’t care who is watching or what they think about me. I don’t look at anyone.

Then I feel him behind me. “Where’s your bracelet?”

I turn around intentionally slowly and run into Raven’s cold steel eyes. I swing my hips, offering him a cold smile but no answer.

“I don’t know what you are doing,” he says, “but your safety is the priority on this island. Don’t make us responsible for your reckless behavior.”

“Reckless?” I give him a controlled smile though my mind roars. His closeness makes me want to pull him into me, have his arms around me, and fuck this mess out of my system. “I haven’t done?—”

“Please, put it on. If something happens to you, Tsariuk will destroy many lives on this island. Think about that.”

“You are afraid of my father now?”

“I’m simply concerned about others.”

“Oh, now you are. And two months ago?—”

He turns and walks away, disappearing into the house.

QiShan saunters over. “Look at you, pretty lady. You want to have fun tonight?”

He opens his palm and gives me a wink. There’s an MDMA pill on his open palm. I want to take it, or five, or any drug that anyone offers. I want to let go. I want to stop feeling, except I can’t. And the only thing that would make me happy right now is not the pill or booze or dancing but seeing Raven. If only from a distance. If only knowing he is in the same room with me.

I shake my head, down my drink, and go for a refill.

Hurt can feel like a never-ending circle of hell. It can also feel like the worst hangover. Three hours later, it feels like the world is spinning around me.

I dance. I dance with Guff. Have drinks. More drinks. Then everything gets dizzy, and Bo gives me water to drink. I keep dancing, and more people are dancing around me. The music is loud, and I forget about everyone and imagine dancing for Raven.

“Girl, you’ve outdone yourself,” Kat says with a smile when she walks over.

“I need to sober up.”

“Yeah…”

Kat’s expression grows serious.

“What?” I ask.

“Raven went to Carnage tonight.”

I wait for what else she has to say.

“He… he almost killed the guy tonight.”

The words sober me up. While I was fantasizing about dancing with him, lost on the dance floor for several hours, he was spilling someone’s blood.

“He got some pretty bad injuries, Archer said.”

“Is he in the hospital?”

Kat shakes her head. “He went home, said he’d do it himself.”

“Good,” I snap.

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