Page 111 of Raven

RAVEN

Everything I do has a ripple effect that always involves Maddy. After shooting Cunningham, I wonder if I was too careless. But he did, after all, look for her like many others.

“Darkness doesn’t scare me. People do.”—Maddy.

I wrote that down in my book of quotes, so that one day, even if I forget who I am, these words on paper would bring me back to her. They would remind me that once upon a time, I was happy. That a girl like her had conversations with me. Was with me, if only for a short while. If only by blackmail. I have a bad feeling about the future. There are no happily ever afters where I come from.

Yet, I cling to what we have. I love when Maddy talks to Sonny and tells him to ask me things like he’s our child. I love dinners and playing house. I love that he plays matchmaker, thinking he’s so inconspicuous. I love the three of us together.

I’m flirting with the word “love” putting it everywhere except where it’s supposed to be. Yeah, that part is scary. I’m not scared of feeling but where that would lead me, on a one-sided road. And for the first time in a decade, I fear that my actions will jeopardize Maddy’s safety.

I call Archer as soon as we pile into the boat. Skiba is cursing, barking orders at others.

“Cunningham is dead,” I say as soon as Archer picks up, then give him the scoop on what happened.

“And then there’s Tsariuk,” Archer says.

“Yes, that.”

“I’ll call you back in a little bit. Let me run this by Alex and Bishop.”

I chain smoke all the way to Ayana’s docks.

Archer calls as soon as we disembark.

“We are having a meeting,” he says. “You, me, Alex Ortiz, Bishop, Marlow. In half an hour. At my house.”

That’s new. We never discuss Ayana’s security issues at Archer’s house. His place is usually for more personal conversations.

“What is this about?” I ask cautiously.

“Milena Tsariuk.”

“What about her?”

“We found her,” Archer says simply, and suddenly I feel like the air was sucked out of the universe.

“I’ll be there,” I say and hang up.

Right away, I want to call Maddy. But then, I don’t want to scare her. Moreover, I don’t want her to wait for hours freaking out while we are having this meeting.

I light a cigarette and smoke as I try to calm my nerves, walking across the beach. And I am fucking nervous. It’s an odd feeling I’ve long forgotten.

Twenty minutes later, I pull up at Archer’s villa, and the first thing that stops me in my tracks is Ali leaning against the palm tree near the driveway by the entrance.

Fuck.

He nods.

That means Maddy is inside. Maddy is inside. Maddy is inside.

We found Milena Tsariuk.

I’m sweating, and I’m cold. I’m tense as fuck, realizing that I don’t get to hold Ayana’s biggest secret to myself. This will be Ayana’s decision. And also finally the time for Maddy to face her demons.

I wish I could protect her for longer. But I know what secrets do—they eat you alive from the inside out. I’ve heard her stories. I know how she feels. I’ve seen her around people, shriveling into herself whenever the conversations about the past and college would come up.

I nod to Slate and another bodyguard who stand at the entrance as Slate opens the door for me, and I walk into Archer’s villa.

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