Page 102 of Raven

Most of the movie passes in silence, with the loud crunching of Sonny demolishing the three bags of snacks that Maddy brought from the kitchen.

Thunder crashes outside.

There’s a loud crack on the porch—must be a broken tree branch.

Sonny makes occasional comments and questions, and Maddy answers. And I don’t even pay attention to the movie but revel in the feeling of being around them.

At some point, Maddy turns to sit on her side, tucking her legs under her, facing Sonny and me, resting her head on her arm stretched along the back of the couch. That gives me the opportunity to study her openly, feeling her tense under my gaze. She feels it, I know.

By the end of the movie, Maddy occasionally wipes her eyes. She is crying. Sonny claps his hands and gets all excited when the little alien is sent home. It’s a movie about friendship and kindness, but also hope. And family. Something I still have a hard time watching in movies because while most take family for granted, some of us didn’t have the privilege of having one.

Sonny picks another movie, though I can tell he is sleepy. He constantly rubs his eyes, and twenty minutes into the action flick, he cozies up to Maddy and rests his head on her shoulder, while his legs and dirty feet end up being on my lap.

It’s suddenly so quiet in the room during a silent movie scene that I’m acutely aware of the rain pounding and slashing against the hurricane shutters. Somewhere in the distance, the ocean roars. It’s in tempest, angry and full of power.

But mostly, I’m aware of Maddy and me, only several feet apart and a kid’s body between us. We’ve never been in a room together for so long without touching.

The movie is playing, but there are no comments interrupting it because Sonny is fast asleep.

I look at his dirty feet on my lap then lean over to look at his face. Yes, fast asleep.

Maddy casts a soft smile at him. “You’d think such a little human can’t take up much space.”

I chuckle. Somehow, seeing him sleeping between me and Maddy fills my heart with a feeling that burns my chest in a peculiar way, making me think of Mac.

“You should go to bed,” I tell Maddy.

“Yeah.”

Holding Sonny’s head off her lap, she shimmies her way from under it, then puts a couch pillow in her place.

He shifts and spreads his arms above his head, literally taking up the entire couch except for where I’m sitting. I can sleep sitting up, no problem. I don’t mind the little dude at all.

Maddy walks to a closet, takes out a sheet, and covers Sonny with it.

“We’ll have to share the bed,” she says.

My eyes snap at her.

“I meant to sleep,” she explains.

“I can sleep here,” I say, holding her gaze.

That little smile is back on her lips. “You are not sleeping sitting up, Rave.”

“It’s really not a big deal?—”

“Rave?” she cuts me off, and I shut up, not looking away from her beautiful eyes that glint with reassurance. “It’s really not a big deal,” she echoes my words. “We can share a bed. I don’t bite. Not when I wear clothes.” Her smile grows. “Come on.”

I watch her as she turns and undoes the bed, opening the top sheet, then crawls under it in her shorts and tank, covering herself but leaving the other half open for me. She pretends she’s not paying attention to me as she picks up the remote, and one by one, the electronic candles go off, only several of them left, casting the room in almost complete darkness save for the candles on each side of her bed.

I don’t know how to act and what to do. It’s crazy to think that we’ve been together as many times as we have, and I barely ever was fully undressed.

I take off my shoes. She watches as I get on the bed and lie down on my back next to her. Her head is tilted slightly to the side, her humorous eyes on me like she’s testing me. And then she scoots on her side right up to me, so I’m forced to lift my arm and wrap it around her shoulders.

Fuck me. So she made the first move. We are… cuddling.

She snuggles up to me, resting her head and hand on my chest, and I wish I could check her pulse to see if it’s as crazy high as mine right now.

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