Page 38 of Selfish Desires

“I just want to throw it out there now. But, if you slept with Stephen, I accept it.” Vincent nodded and dropped his arms to his sides.

I scanned Vincent’s perfect form, wanting to say something, but before I knew it, my feet moved quicker than my brain could process any words. Half a second later, I wrapped my arms around Vincent’s neck, crashing my lips against his. I welcomed his velvet-invading tongue into my mouth. His arms coiled around my waist as he kissed me back fervently, this time not deterring any of his passion. He pulled away for a moment, just long enough to look into my eyes with an intensity that set my whole body ablaze before crashing his lips onto mine again. It was desperate and raw, everything I missed. Everything I had wanted each day for the last three years.

“Fuck, Wendy,” he rasped as we parted for breath. His thumb traced the line of my jaw gently, affectionately. “I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too,” I whispered in return, resting my forehead against his chest and listening to the frantic beat of his heart alongside mine. And what else was I supposed to say? That I didn’t miss him? I was tired of lying to myself, even if he didn’t deserve a second chance. I was so tired of fighting this urge I held dormant when I finally could wake up. The single tear sliding down my cheek I wasn’t even aware of, Vincent caught on his index finger, bringing his wet digit to my parted lips, and silently I obeyed. He inserted the salty finger through my lips, and I sucked, staring deep into Vincent’s stormy bottomless orbs.

There was a silence then, only the sound of our heavy breathing filling the room. Vincent pressed his thickening cock against my stomach, sending an aching rippling to my sex as liquid heat flooded my pussy.

“What are we doing?” I heard him murmur into my hair after a long pause.

“I don't know,” I confessed softly, pulling away to look up at him.

His eyes searched mine—dark and hopeful. “Is there any chance?” His voice broke on the last word. Any semblance of nonchalance had faded. “Come to Florida with me.”

I frowned because that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “No. My life is here. After you left, I started fresh. I just can’t leave.” Swallowing, I forced myself to ask questions I didn’t want answered. “What do you do now, Vincent?”

He tipped his head to the fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling and released a fatigued sigh. “After I left, I returned to what I knew how to do.”

My eyes closed as I absorbed the disappointing news. There was no way I could ever be with Vincent now if he was back to his old ways. “And you expect me to just be okay with it?”

“Wendy, of course not. I’m not even okay with it.”

“Then why are you doing it?” The words exited my mouth with a fierce sting.

“Because I didn’t know what else to do. The poker games are almost like a weighted blanket for me. It’s what I feel safe doing.”

“And it’s also the reason you had to flee.” I shook my head, stepping away from Vincent. A flash of panic crossed Vincent’s chiseled face when the distance between us increased. He reached for me, but only air met his outstretched hand.

“What do you want me to do?” Without warning, Vincent dropped to his knees. “I’m begging now. Tell me, and I promise we’ll figure this out together.” Vincent’s voice dropped as he ran a shaky hand through his messed hair.

“I want you to give it up. Give it all up, and then come back for me. And we can try to give it another chance here in Newport.” I crossed my arms, leaning against the cold stainless steel counter as a sudden calm flowed through my veins. Oddly enough, a strange inner peace settled in the bottom of my stomach. If Vincent was willing to give up his sordid games, I’d be willing to give us another chance. But, if he wanted to keep earning his way through lies, I would let him go. At this point in my life, there were certain things I could live without, and finally, I had come to realize what they were.

Vincent’s face and hands dropped. “Give it up?”

“Yes. Give up the lies. Earn an honest living so our lives don’t get fucked up again.” My pulse increased as I watched Vincent’s eyes squint into the light. Was he serious right now?

“What will I do? I need to work.”

“I don’t know, Vincent. Don’t you have several businesses you took over? Come on, this should be the easy part.”

His eyes almost popped out of his head as he clutched his heart. “Easy for you to say.”

I wasn’t having this or him, and I took steps away as he shuffled on his knees after me. “Hold on, hold on. Let me figure things out.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” I crossed my arms, continuing to back away.

A sigh escaped his lips, his shoulders sagging with the weight of my words. With his fists clenched, he looked like he was tearing himself apart internally, struggling between what he had relied on and what he wanted. The silence hung heavily in the room as I waited for him to say anything. “Give me a week.”

“A week for what?” I managed through gritted teeth.

“A week to figure things out.”

I rolled my eyes, throwing my hands in the air and stumbling away from Vincent’s form. “You’re unbelievable.” I stopped myself mid-step. “Seriously, Vincent. Why did you come back here?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious?” He did a double-take. “Wendy, I’m not giving up on us.”

“Right. You just need a week to figure out if I’m worth the sacrifice,” I scoffed, heading to the kitchen door.

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