Page 29 of Selfish Desires

My body tensed at her words, uncertainty seeping into every fiber of my being. Was it safe to hope for a future—our future? Could I dare ask Wendy to walk down this treacherous path with me again? She had suffered enough already. I chewed the inside of my cheek, the sharp sting grounding me, holding back the words that threatened to spill out. The apology hung heavy in the air. I had hurt her. I had hurt us both. But she was here now, so close, and still wanted me. That meant something—it had to.

I swallowed hard, my eyes searching hers for a shred of doubt, a hint of regret. But I found none. Instead, her gaze held an intensity that matched my own—a searing burn threatening to consume everything in its path. The vulnerability of her confession echoed in the silence, the weight of which pressed down on my chest.

“Can I touch you?” The words rolled off my tongue without granting me a second to think about my next move.

She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, her eyelashes fluttering against her pale cheeks. I reached out, letting my fingers trace the curve of her jaw. A single tear escaped beneath her closed eyelids, sliding down her cheek and falling onto my hand. It was salty and warm, a stark reminder of how real this moment was—how real Wendy was. I couldn’t believe I was feeling her skin under my own. It was surreal and a curse all at once because to think Wendy could pull away at any second to deny me of the heaven I had missed for all these years, sending me straight back to hell, scared the shit out of me.

“Tell me what you want?” It was more of a statement because a part of me knew what she wanted. But I needed to hear her say the words.

Her mouth parted slightly as she took another shaky breath, her words caught in her throat. She swallowed, her throat clicking. I watched her intently, holding my breath as I awaited her response.

“If you can’t use your words, touch me,” I whispered.

She hesitated, uncertainty etching lines of tension onto her face. For a moment, I thought she might pull away, and my heart skipped several beats. But then her hand moved slowly, reaching out and trembling as her fingers hovered over my cheek.

“What if it all goes wrong again?” Her voice trembled, the fear and hope warring in her eyes.

“Then we fix it. Together,” I answered, my voice steady despite the storm inside me.

With that affirmation, Wendy’s fingers touched my skin, tracing my jawline almost reverently. A shudder coursed through me at the touch, a sharp reminder of what was at stake, of how much I had missed this woman. My hand wrapped around hers on my face, holding it as if anchoring me to the moment. Wendy shifted her hand, dragging her digits through my hair, her eyes darting to where her fingertips buried themselves in my wild strands.

Her touch was electric, sending sparks through my veins and igniting a passion that had laid dormant for far too long. I closed my eyes to the sensation of her fingers against my scalp, letting out a shaky breath. My hand, still on her jawline, moved upward, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. I felt her shudder under my touch, and it made my pulse quicken.

Now it was her turn to take a deep breath, courage visibly pooling in her eyes as she gently pulled me closer by my hair, our faces mere inches apart. For a moment, everything was silent as the world seemed to hold its breath alongside us.

“Wendy.” My tone darkened. “Use your words. Tell me what you need.”

She stayed silent, but I allowed her hands to explore my body. Tracing every crease of my shirt, tugging the buttons to unfasten them unsuccessfully. Her fingers trembled, their nervous movement making the task more difficult. I caught her hands in mine, stilling them. Her gaze held mine, the fear of rejection apparent in her eyes. I shook my head gently.

“It's okay,” I reassured her, pressing soft kisses to each of her knuckles before helping her undo the buttons of my shirt.

She nodded, a relieved sigh escaping her lips. There it was—a crack in the dam holding back our emotions, but not enough to break it open yet. I sucked in a sharp breath before closing the heated gap between us and sealing my lips against Wendy’s.

Our kiss was slow, deliberate. I could feel Wendy's breath hitch as my lips slanted over hers. A gasp escaped her parted mouth, giving me an opening to deepen the kiss and taste the sweetness I had been denied for so long.

Every touch of her fingers against my body felt imprinted on my skin. Every breath she took echoed in my ears. Her hands, resting lightly on the fabric of my shirt, began to move with more confidence now, sliding up and down the front of my torso before finally pushing the shirt off my shoulders. Her touch left goosebumps down my arms as she pushed the material away from me and onto the floor. I was already hard, my cock begging for any form of friction as it pressed against my zipper, but I wouldn’t let her fingers trail there…yet.

I wanted to touch her the way she really wanted, but something in Wendy wasn’t allowing herself to be free. “Tell me, Wendy. Please,” I mumbled into her mouth before snaking my tongue against hers, getting lost in Wendy’s scent, still in disbelief that this was my life.

Wendy pulled back from our heated kiss suddenly, leaving me reeling and disoriented from its abrupt end. She looked at me carefully, a cautious yet hopeful glimmer in her eyes. “Vincent, I…”

“Say it,” I urged, taking her hands and pulling Wendy to me. But it didn’t work. She only shut down more, yet her fingertips insisted on dancing across my palms, just needing to touch me. I didn’t want to be a dick, but I needed to show her that she could trust me again. If Wendy couldn’t trust me in life just yet, I totally understood. But here, in the bedroom, she needed to trust me.

“Let’s take a quick break, okay? Everything is fine. I promise.” My tone softened as I pushed a loose, dark lock of hair behind her ear. I stood and walked to the window.

A moment passed in silence. My back to her, I couldn’t decipher her expression or her emotions. The room felt unbearably quiet, only interrupted by the distant sounds from the waves hitting the rocks below. I clenched my fists, struggling to keep the rising surge of desperation at bay.

“Vincent…” Her voice was a whisper, tentative and shaky.

I didn’t respond. My heart pounded like a wild drum, every beat echoing the fear that Wendy might walk away again. And then I pivoted, facing her, all the warmth in my eyes leaving. I marched to her shrinking frame and stopped an inch from my shadow swallowing Wendy.

“You’re so scared.”

“No, I’m not.” Wendy’s eyes bulged as she stiffened her posture.

I inhaled, leaning in until our mouths were less than an inch apart, her breath tickling my chin. “You touch people the way you want to be touched, but here you are. Too afraid to say what you need.”

I stepped back, giving her room to breathe, but my gaze never left hers. Confusion and hurt clashed within the depths of her eyes, replaced by a fierce determination that took me by surprise.

---