Page 56 of Selfish Desires

“She's out,” I whispered softly, careful not to wake her. Wendy nodded as I scooped up the sleeping child in my arms. My body sank into the deep cushions with Sadie’s sleeping form molded to my body. The child’s weight instantly felt twenty pounds heavier, like the best-weighted blanket on earth.

I caught Wendy gazing at me and Sadie, biting her lower lip trying to quell a smile. “You look like a natural.” She motioned to me, Mr. Mother Goose.

“I’m cozy, that’s all.” I shrugged nonchalantly, but inwardly, her words warmed me more than I'd like to admit.

Wendy moved closer to me on the couch, her eyes never leaving Sadie's serene face. Her fingers brushed lightly against Sadie’s cheek before she leaned back against the cushions, observing us with a soft smile. Turning off the television, she allowed the room to soak in the tranquil silence of the night.

Watching Wendy watch me and Sadie in that peaceful quietude, I was intensely reminded of why I had returned. Why I had risked everything to come back to this woman who had every right to reject me.

“Do you think you’d ever want one?” Wendy asked, and I already knew the answer she wanted to hear. Her question hung in the air. She wasn't looking at me anymore, but her gentle touch on Sadie's cheek suggested her thoughts were far from our present surroundings.

I held Sadie tighter, feeling the rise and fall of her little chest against my arm. My gaze drifted from Wendy to Sadie, and in that moment, I felt a possible shift in my world—an inkling of something that I'd never truly considered until this moment.

“Maybe,” I found myself saying. My eyes were fixed on Sadie, still peacefully asleep in my arms.

Wendy turned to face me, eyes wide with surprise and hope. “Really?”

I met her gaze with understanding and nodded. “Yeah, really.”

Suddenly, Sadie stirred in my arms, her small face scrunching into a frown as if sensing the change in the room's atmosphere. We both stiffened, waiting for the wail. But it never came. Instead, she shifted slightly and tucked her head into my chest with a soft sigh before settling back into sleep.

Looking down at her peaceful face and then back at Wendy's expectant one, I knew more than ever that my heart wanted what it had wanted all those years ago—to be with Wendy. And maybe now even more than before because it seemed to want more...it seemed to want a family with Wendy.

“I’d like to have that someday,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper to avoid waking Sadie.

Wendy’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she nodded, biting her lip to keep herself steady. “Me too.”

There was a long silence between us, the only sound being Sadie’s soft breathing.

Just then, the soft click of the front door interrupted our tranquility as Blair and Zachary’s laughter pierced our home. I almost forgot we gave them a copy of the key before they left for dinner.

They stumbled into the room, their arms linked together. Their faces wore identical expressions of wide-eyed surprise upon seeing me and Wendy on the couch, with Sadie asleep in my arms. Blair's eyes found mine as her laughter trailed off.

“How did you do that?” Blair asked, pointing to me and Sadie while Wendy giggled.

“Do what?” I strained to face Blair.

“Get her to sleep. It’s only nine, and she never sleeps before nine-thirty.” Blair’s eyes shifted to Zachary’s guiltily. “Lately, she’s been tough at bedtime.”

“Yeah, just a tad.” Zachary popped his eyebrows.

Blair half laughed and brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face while holding a brown mailer. My brow scrunched when I noticed the package.

“What’s that?” I nodded to the mailer.

“Ah, this?” Blair said, holding up the brown envelope. She shrugged nonchalantly. It was on the front porch just now when we got back.”

Wendy furrowed her brow, standing from her seat and walking over to Blair. “I’m not expecting anything. Are you?” she turned, asking me.

“No?”

“Dinner was amazing, by the way,” Zachary interjected. “You weren’t kidding about the best lobster rolls here. And we ran into your friend, Stephen.” Zachary redirected his gaze to Wendy, making my stomach lurch. “He showed us around his store.”

“His store is amazing,” Blair gushed. “I could have stayed there all night exploring.”

Wendy reached for the mailer and ripped the top open, ignoring everyone.

I pushed myself up from the couch, gently handing Sadie to Zachary, and moved to Wendy's side. She was silent, her fingers trembling slightly as she held onto the last photograph. It was a black and white, recent smiling image of Wendy taken within the last four weeks because I recognized her outfit: dark parka, jeans, and the engagement ring. She traversed Thames Street, happy, carefree, alone. Wendy’s face turned a stark white while my blood raged and my heart thundered in my ears.

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