“Should we wait for Isabella and Vic?” I asked, glancing around like I thought they might pop up from behind the furniture.

“No, they’ve got their hands full at the moment,” Marcus said. “They have contacts within the local community of medical practitioners. They’re taking the people you rescued into town and making sure they get proper care. Floyd managed to fit everyone inside, although it did become a sort of double-decker bus situation.”

“You let them drive your car?” I asked, stunned. I’d never been allowed to drive Floyd.

“Vic was an ambulance driver in several wars,” Lissa said. “He’s very good at it.”

Gabriel cleared his throat, and everyone else gave him their attention. Personally, I stared down at the wire map spread out across the table.

“As you all know, my father had planned to betray Morgana for quite some time,” he began. “And now I know exactly what that plan was. He has—” He visibly gathered himself. “He had a weapon he believed could destroy her. Having now seen his memories of the experiments he did with it, I think he was correct. Even if it cannot kill her, it will weaken her significantly and give you enough of an opening to finish things. It’s hidden, but I saw glimpses of where he was keeping it.” He leaned over and tapped a spot on the table, a little clearing between the cotton bud trees. There was a tiny wire building there, the metal outline of a small cottage. “The weapon is a wand made of blind man’s birch. It’s vitally important that it not be used until the right moment. It should be retrieved with caution.”

“I’ll go,” I said, surprising myself, but getting away from here would do me some good. The closest ley line crossing was a pretty distance away from the hut, and I could use a hike to clear my head. I had to keep moving, otherwise I would grind to a complete stop and not be able to start back up again when I had to. I needed momentum, like a shark.

“I don’t know what sort of defenses the place has. It may be dangerous,” Gabriel said. His face was still carefully neutral, but the look in his eyes was getting worse.

How nice. He’s worried. How sweet. He can go to hell.

“I said I’ll go,” I said icily.

“But—” Gabriel started. I knew he was hurting, but I was really fucking ready to start a fight if he wanted one.

“You’ll have backup,” a deep voice said. Damien. “If you want it, that is.”

He was still looking rough, but he’d cleaned up, and someone had found him a change of clothes. Probably Xarek’s, I thought, based on the build. Well, that and the fact that I didn’t think anyone else here would have dad jeans.

“Sure,” I said. “Buddy system’s probably not a bad idea right now, and everyone else is already paired up.”

That put a crack in Gabriel’s expression. Not much, just a twitch, but it still gave me a zing of satisfaction.

So, that was it. Gabriel was leaving. He’d told us what he knew, and now he was leaving. Damien was upstairs preparing odds and ends for our mission when I saw Gabriel slinking toward the door without so much as a goodbye. After a short but brutal struggle with myself, I stepped into his way. I was exhausted, scared, and extremely pissed off, but I didn’t want Gabriel throwing himself into his stupid noble plan with a disadvantage.

“One thing before you go,” I said. “You should eat.”

He froze. “I’m sure I can manage without,” he said after a tense moment.

I sighed. “You just gave me a whole fucking speech about how you’re gonna be dead on your feet and working horrible hours. I know you. You’re not gonna take the time to eat, and you’re also still mostly doing human blood, right?”

“I just don’t know if it’s a good idea,” he said, laying out each word as carefully as if he was defusing a bomb.

“If you’re hungry, will you find a human to drink from? Do you have anything even approaching a plan for that? Are you gonna hunt someone down? Send a lackey to go find someone? Ask for a volunteer when you know damn well there’ll be a power imbalance? None of those sound like you, Gabriel.”

He refused to meet my eyes. What a stupid, noble man. I wanted to shake him.

“Let me do this,” I said quietly. “I know you won’t let me help with the rest, so just… One last time, okay?”

He relented. “Okay.”

I turned my head to the side and brushed my hair out of the way, exposing my neck. Gabriel stepped forward slowly, like he was counting out the time to keep himself from rushing.

He hesitated with his lips almost touching my neck, then leaned forward and bit down carefully. I braced myself for the rush of molten pleasure that came with the bite, holding my breath, but it didn’t come. There was that floaty painlessness of good painkillers, yes, but the crazy swoop of euphoria and warmth wasn’t there. Instead, grief flooded through me.

It was everywhere all at once, overwhelming. Crushing layers of sadness and anger and regret and fear built up on top of each other like layers of rock, buckling and twisting where the tectonic plates met. That was when I understood for the first time.

The heady cocktail of pleasure, lust, and bliss I’d felt when Gabriel drank from me before wasn’t from the chemicals in the bite itself. It was from Gabriel. When he bit me, his mind opened up to mine enough to let feelings slip through, and before it had been absolutely intoxicating.

He loves me, I thought as Gabriel lapped the blood from my neck. He loves me, and I think I love him.

Gabriel pulled away, licking my blood from his lips. He hesitated, then leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine. I screwed my eyes shut to keep myself from crying.