Page 79 of Soulbound Shadows: Part 1

“Smart.” My throat was dry as a bone. I sniffed at the mug I was holding and smelled tea, which, when I took a tentative sip, turned out to be a severely over-steeped lemon ginger. “I’m sorry I handled things so poorly.”

“You’ve had a pretty hectic night,” Evangeline said. “Between the stuff with your father and the news of your engagement going public, that’s a lot. Must’ve been some real whiplash.”

“Not whiplash,” I said. “More of a severe downward slope.”

I could feel Evangeline’s eyes on me. I kept my gaze on the pale yellow liquid in my mug. “I have spent nearly a thousand years trying to please my father,” I said finally. “I have endeavored to come up with strategies that will help his people, and to be the perfect son. I know that my actions reflect back on him, and I have remembered that every step of the way. As his heir, I am an extension of him.” My voice was remarkably steady. I mentally congratulated myself on that.

“Being his heir includes certain responsibilities,” I continued. “Including marrying someone I don’t love to continue his line. I’ve done… Evangeline, I’ve done so much for his approval, and he’s…” Something in me crumpled. Tears stung my eyes, an infuriatingly human reaction my father would have despised.

“I’ve spent so long being a tool for him to use, I’m not even good at it,” I blurted out. “I was always terrible in the council meetings. I got too involved and, and, emotional. He always told me I had to keep a level head and let him handle things, but I just kept trying to help. I just needed to do something. He was letting our people starve, Evangeline, then punishing them for trying to feed themselves, and now my mother is on the run, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again?—”

Evangeline hugged me tightly, and I melted into it. I was mortified and furious with myself. Furious that I was letting this get to me, and that I’d gone along with it for so long in the first place. My words failed me, giving way to ugly, wracking sobs that shook my entire frame. Centuries of my life. God, had he tried something like this before? How many of our people had he led to their deaths, or worse, while I stood by his side, content to be a figurehead of his regime? And it wouldn’t have stopped with me. I would have married Gwendoline, had children with her, and let my father use them the exact same way.

I saw the future I’d resigned myself to. The loveless marriage, the children who would be cared for by a small army of servants and tutors approved by my parents. The stiff, uncomfortable family dinners. Decade after decade of sleepwalking through my duties, writing proposals I knew would be turned down before I so much as touched pen to paper. Spending the entire span of my immortality killing myself slowly, piece by piece, and condemning the children I’d had out of duty to the same fate.

Evangeline held me as I cried until I was empty. Eventually, I managed to push myself upright, blinking gritty eyes.

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved when you tried to tell me what you’d found,” I said hoarsely. “I didn’t want to believe it. Frankly, I still don’t want to believe it, but that doesn’t seem to matter.”

Evangeline rubbed the pad of her thumb along my cheek. I must have looked like an absolute wreck, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Yeah, it was pretty dickish of you, but I get it,” she said. “And I, uh… I mean, I didn’t exactly de-escalate, you know? I thought that I was, like, the other woman or something, and that would’ve really sucked because I actually like spending time with you even when we’re not banging.” The last sentence came out in one long rush, all of the words piling up behind each other like they were trying to get out of her mouth before she could stop them.

I gave her a watery smile. “I enjoy spending time with you, too. You are… stubbornly yourself in a way that I admire. A way I hope I can emulate one day.”

“You’re getting there,” Evangeline told me with a small smile. “It gets easier with practice, I promise.”

“I hope so,” I muttered darkly, and she chuckled.

“Come on,” she said, tugging me to my feet. “You look fucking exhausted. I know you don’t need to sleep, but you should probably give it a shot.”

“Would you… ah. Would you stay with me?” I asked, not meeting her eyes. I was painfully aware that when she’d asked me to spend the night with her, she had woken to an empty bed.

“I was planning on it,” Evangeline said. “But I gotta… you know.” She waved a hand at her dress and makeup, and I nodded.

Ten minutes later, Evangeline came back into my room in pajama shorts and a tank top, her face washed clean, and her hair in a braid that I knew would be escaping from its tie within half an hour. Wordlessly, I lifted the blankets for her, and she climbed into the bed next to me, pulling me close.

I went willingly, too exhausted to do anything more than let her rest my head on her chest, then I fell asleep with her hand in my hair, and her heartbeat under my ear.

26

EVANGELINE

Iwoke up feeling different. Gabriel and I were tangled together, his head pillowed on my chest, and one of my legs wrapped around his hips in a way that probably would’ve made a chiropractor wince.

It wasn’t just that, though. I felt good. Strong. It was almost like the feeling I got when fighting off the last dregs of a cold, feeling a little shitty for a couple days, and then one morning waking up feeling great and knowing that it was all well and truly out of my system.

I stretched lazily, and Gabriel made a grumpy sound against me. I tried to stifle a laugh at his smushed, angry face, but it made my chest bounce enough under his cheek to wake him up properly.

“G’mr’n’ng,” he mumbled.

“Good morning,” I said. “Too early for you to use vowels, huh?”

Gabriel nodded gravely, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “How’d’y’sleep?”

“Really well, actually. I feel great. Like, fantastic,” I told him. “When we found the other two artifact pieces, I felt stronger afterward, and I think it’s getting more intense. I feel…” I shook my head, trailing off. My magic was strong and eager in my body, ready to flow out of me as soon as I needed it. I felt vital and powerful in a way I had never felt before. There was something just on the edge of my perception, too. I frowned a little.

“I think the artifact wants me to find it,” I said slowly. Gabriel looked up at me curiously. “The first piece, I could feel it, but only when we got close. I could feel the piece Nanny Murk had as soon as we were inside her hut, and I could sense—” I cut myself off before I could mention Gabriel’s father. “I could sense the piece we got last night from the other side of that huge-ass building,” I said instead. “And I think I can already feel the last piece. It’s pretty faint, but it’s definitely there.”

“You’re becoming more and more attuned to it,” Gabriel said, his voice still rough with sleep.

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