Page 36 of The Green Card Baby Deal

“But why wouldn’t you want to marry him? You’re both so obviously smitten with each other.”

Clara hugged the blanket tighter and shook her head. “No, we’re not.”

“You absolutely are.” Dawn uncrossed her arm and turned to face her sister. “Look, I hate to break it to you, but your little game was obvious from the start. I knew something was fishy, but when I saw the way you two looked at each other, I knew things were heating up for real. I thought, it doesn’t matter how it started. All that matters is they love each other now, and they’re going to be so happy together.”

“We’re not,” Clara insisted. “I made him promise to keep it all business so no feelings would get in the way. Anytime he seemed like he was getting too close, I pushed him away. I thought I was doing the right thing, but then I caught feelings for him like an idiot.” She turned to watch the movie for a minute before she went on. Dawn did not interrupt or stop her. “You and I both know how easy it is to fool yourself into believing you’re in love.”

“That’s only if you’ve never really been in love before.” Dawn scooted closer and rested her head on Clara’s shoulder. “Oh, Sis. Once you’ve fallen in love for real, it becomes so easy to spot. That’s why I didn’t question you at all. The way you looked at him. For goodness’ sake, the way he looked at you! I could tell he was mad about you.”

“He wasn’t,” Clara said, still not making eye contact with her sister. “Maybe he thought he was in love, but he knows better now. Trust me. The way he looked when he called off the wedding… He was relieved! Whatever I did to push him away, it worked. And if it was that easy to talk him out of a relationship with me, then I’m afraid I can’t believe he ever really loved me. Can I? Don’t men who are in love tend to fight for the women they love?”

“Not if it isn’t the right thing to do,” Dawn said, both her arms around her sister now. “You said you pushed him away, and he’s got to be aware of the uneven power dynamic between you two. What if he just doesn’t want you to feel forced? What if he’s just sacrificing his own heart so he knows there’s no chance you’re marrying him unwillingly? That sounds like real love to me. He cares more about you than he does about himself.”

“You’ve always been the romantic between us,” Clara said with a sad smile. “But I think you’re wrong this time. If he ever had feelings for me, he doesn’t anymore. I made sure of that. I won’t go crawling back begging for a fake relationship again. If he wants to let me out, then I’m out.” She shrugged.

Dawn was staring at her with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open. “You really can be an idiot, Clara. You know that? If there’s nothing else I’m sure of in this world, I’m sure of that man’s love for you. When he looked at you, I thought he might burst from it. That was pure adoration is what that was. How could you have missed it?”

“I don’t think I did.”

Dawn sighed and sat back to watch the movie again. “You’re as bad as the zombies,” she said. “Walking through life without really seeing anything. Well, you know I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do. I still say he loves you, but so do I, so whatever it is you’re going through, I’m on your side. Okay?”

Clara sniffed and rubbed away the tears welling in her eyes before they could fall. “Thanks, Sis. I just… I think I needed to hear that, anyway. If you’re there, I think everything is going to be just fine.” Now, if only Clara could get herself to believe that was really true.

CHAPTER 21

LUIS

Luis slinked from his private elevator into his penthouse like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. He’d been an idiot, and he knew it. He’d convinced himself that telling Clara how he really felt would be applying undue pressure to her. He’d neglected to take into account that she was being forced to make a difficult decision either way, and that having all the information might help with that.

The night he’d spent dancing with another woman — and a charming, attractive one at that — only served to convince him that Clara was the only woman he could ever fall in love with. “Hmm… Thank you, Cher,” he said to his darkened penthouse, and he meant it. He’d needed that lesson more than anything.

He turned the lights on in each room, but the place still felt dark without Clara there. Strange how quickly he’d gotten used to her presence. His lifetime without her felt small in comparison. When he got to the nursery, he stopped at the door. Something kept him from stepping inside. He leaned on the doorframe and let his eyes scan the room. There were still handprints visible under the first coat of paint. He should have added a second, but somehow, there never seemed to be enough time. Now he didn’t want to. They were her handprints, and he was thinking about her as though he would never see her again.

He tried to tell himself it would all be okay. She would be back from time to time. There would be life in his world again, a child and its mother. “But it’s not enough,” he muttered to himself. Greedy for her, that’s what he was.

The nursery was softly lit and comfortable, but Luis couldn’t think about anything other than Clara’s kiss that night. He went to his desk, packed away in a storage space, and retrieved a pencil. Then he took it to the nursery and began to carefully trace the ghosts of those handprints on the wall. His child would love them, too, he thought. They were created in a time when both parents were happy, even if it was just a little while. When he’d finished tracing the handprints, he found a couple cans of leftover paint and a small brush, and he began filling in the handprints on the wall. His prints were blue, and Clara’s were pink. The walls were a buttercup yellow.

He spent much of the night on this project until he could hardly keep his eyes open any longer. Then he went to sleep in his own bed for the first time in months. His pillowcase smelled like Clara, and she haunted all his dreams.

In the morning, he realized he couldn’t begin to live like this, and he began to formulate a plan. First, he called Dawn.

“Hello?”

“Is Clara with you?” he asked.

“Luis?” She laughed. “You sound like a stalker.”

“I just don’t want her to know too soon.”

On the other end of the line Dawn sighed, clearly running out of patience. “Know what, Luis?”

Luis lowered his voice as though everyone at Dawn’s apartment might hear him if he didn’t. “That I love her, and I want to fight for her.”

“Really—” Dawn cried.

“Shhh! Don’t spoil it,” Luis hissed. “I want to surprise her. I thought maybe you could give me a few ideas.”

“Hang on.” He heard Dawn rustling as she shifted from one place to another. Soon there was the sound of a breeze and birds chirping. “Okay, I’m outside. What did you want to say?”

---