I’m friend-divorcing anyone who calls him hot. I hate him.
Ruby
Is there a possibility for re-marriage in the future? Asking for a friend…
Me
You remember what Mama Loretta says about the line between love and hate, don’t you Lu?
Lauren
Just because you fucking catapulted over to the love side, does NOT mean I’m going to. There isn’t even a love side with him?! Just a deep abyss of hatred. Are you and Moose getting married or what?! I’m with Tay. That was some next level in-love shit.
Me
I told him I loved him.
Shane
What?!?!?!
Tay
SCREAMING
Ruby
WHEN!!!!!
Lauren
Me
Umm… after we had sex?!
Shane
WHAT?!?!?!?!
Tay
SCREAMING HARDER
Ruby
I’m so proud.
Lauren
I’m passed out on the floor. Bitch, EXPLAIN YO SELF.
Me
I showed up at his game Thursday when meetings ended early. He took me out, we ran into Josh (you guys remember Josh?) Anyways, we yelled at each other in the rain then I told him to take me home (for activities) and… he did.
Lauren