I can see out of the corner of my eye the way her body stiffens ever so slightly, her eyes trained on anything else in the room but me.
That seems fair.
The last two times I saw her I was not shy in letting her know how I feel about her—going as far as telling her she should dump the guy she’s currently seeing to be with me. I’m not sure how aggressive Tucker meant for me to be when saying I should get in the way, but I feel as though it’s safe to say I fully committed to the assignment.
I don’t regret it, nor have my feelings changed on the matter, but I can still understand why I may not be her favorite person at the moment.
That’s fine with me though. I’m still going to push every button of hers I have access to until she finally breaks and gives me a chance. I wonder if she listened to my advice and lost the librarian yet?
Gosh I missed having big Christmases.
Looking around the room and seeing it filled from corner to corner with our friends and family just gives me that warm feeling in my chest that should accompany the holidays. For the last decade I’ve felt a little empty during Christmas. While traveling for games, Taylor not making it back home as often, and JJ and Blaire being on the road constantly, we haven’t had a Christmas like this since?—
“This one’s for you,” Leah says softly, handing me a green and red wrapped present.
The warm feeling that was in my chest just moments ago fades into a dull sadness as I lock eyes with her. Those hypnotic green eyes that I could stare at until I find every shade of green painted in them that makes them pop the way they do. Because it reminds me that the last time we had a holiday gathering this big, was the Christmas after I ruined us.
The smile I had grown so fond of never appeared on her face that year—not in regards to me, anyway—and I think that’s what broke me. I knew I’d messed up more than I ever thought possible, and she wasn’t inclined even the least bit to hear me out when I tried to apologize.
“Hey, you okay?” The cool brush of her fingertips on the back of my hand has me snapping out of my blast to the past. I look down where my hand is palm down on the floor with her pinky resting over mine and before she can move her hand I lock our small fingers together.
“I’m working on it,” I admit honestly. Her cheeks flush and she gives me a small nod, extending the gift she has been trying to hand me. She clears her throat, and her cheeks grow an even darker shade of red.
“This one is from me.” My heart begins beating faster, my eyes snapping up to hers once more.
She actually got me something? I thought she still hated me?
The box is one of the smallest I’ve ever seen but that doesn’t change the excitement I’m feeling over knowing she thought of me. When I open the box, my heart damn near explodes. Because there’s a keychain of a hockey stick with pink tape around the blade and the number thirteen etched at the top.
“You made this for me?”
“I mean I didn’t make it, but I designed it, and had it made,” she giggles. She has no idea what this means to me, and I love her even more because of it.
“Thank you, Dove. I love it.” She smiles and turns to the rest of the boisterous room as people continue opening their gifts, and when I see that Leah has opened all of hers, I pull the simply wrapped package from behind me and hand it to her.
“Psst, Leah.” Her head whips around, her curls bouncing when they come to a stop. “This one is from me.” The look on her face takes me by surprise.
“You got me a present?”
I match her shocked tone. “You thought I wouldn’t?”
She gives me a curious glare then takes the package from my hands.
“Uh, be careful, here…pull it from right here.” I reach over and find the loose portion of wrapping paper for her to tear from—not wanting her to start ripping and tear the cover. I look up to see her smiling at me and my heart skips a beat.
“Thanks.” When the paper is off and she flips the book around, she looks as though she’s seen a ghost.
Her features fall and her mouth pops open but before she can say anything Lauren yells, “What did you get?” causing her to turn her focus on the rest of the room.
“Loving Romeo.” All the girls stop and look at her.
“From who?” Shane squeals excitedly. Leah simply turns to face me, and all the girls follow.
“Sawyer.” I know she’s simply answering the question asked, but hearing my name on her lips will never not be my kryptonite. No matter the reason it’s there.
“Yeah, well I thought I heard you talking about that author when we were all at Spurs that one night, and I remember how much you used to love watching Rocky with your dad so I just thought it might be a good choice. She had a lot of books to choose from, so I just took a shot in the dark.” I shrug, trying to let her know it wasn’t a big deal. It is just a book after all. Even though I couldn’t find it in stores it isn’t like I had to scour the earth to find it or anything.
She stares at me blankly for another moment then, without a word, she stands up and walks away, taking the book with her. Either she’s going to throw it away because it’s from me or she loves it so much she… I don’t know? Needs a moment alone with it? Taylor must see the concern written on my face because she chimes in as the rest of the group goes about opening their gifts and chatting.