Page 7 of Worth the Vow

It wasn’t the first time I’d been called an asshole, and I doubted it would be the last.

Taking my asshole status to the next level, I began nit-picking at everything Kate did. I could find fault with how she tied her shoelaces if I looked hard enough. For the most part, Kate took it all in stride. Even with everything she’d suffered through in her life, she still had a glass-half-full outlook. Somehow, that pissed me off even more.

“Have you already told her she’d be nannying for me?” I ask my mom.

“Yes, she knows it’s you.”

“And she actually agreed to it?” I blurt out, curious to know how Kate responded.

“She wasn’t thrilled, but she loves your kids and knows it’ll give her lots of spare time for other part-time jobs. Until she finds something full-time, that is.”

“So this could be a brief position?” I ask hopefully.

“Possibly. Already trying to kick her out the door, Dominic?” Mom asks playfully.

“Just trying to determine if I need to look for more help, should she quit with no notice.”

“She’s not that kind of person. She’d never leave you in a bind like that.”

“When did you tell her to start?” I ask.

“That’s up to you. She can begin tomorrow if you’re ready.”

I see a gleam in my mom’s eyes, and I wonder what else she’s up to. There are no two bigger meddlers in my life than my mom and grandmother.

“Alright, I guess Kate is my new nanny.” I sigh, one filled with defeat. I know Kate is the logical choice, but I don’t want her to be. I don’t want to want her at all, and now I’ll have to see her more than I already do.

My mom claps her hands, thrilled with the course of events. Jumping up, she steps around my desk to kiss my cheek, before slapping it lightly. It’s become a running joke that the women in our family are a violent bunch. Nonna, my grandmother, likes to pinch butts rather painfully. “She’s expecting a call from you this evening with more information. This is an excellent decision, Dominic. I’m so glad you came up with it.”

As my mom vacates my office, I realize a few things. Firstly, it wasn’t my idea, it was hers. Secondly, I didn’t even tell her I would be working late tonight, so I’m not sure how she knew. My brother Alex has the kids for a movie night. And finally, I’m so fucking screwed if I have to be around Kate all the time.

Kate

Six Months Ago

Sobbing on the bathroom floor in the basement apartment I rent from a family in Eternity Springs, I’ve never missed my mom more. She’d know what to say to me. She’d have the best advice, and she wouldn’t judge me or be condescending. “Alright, Tootsie Bell,” she’d say, “pull up your big girl panties. We’ll figure it out.”

Why did she call me Tootsie Bell?

Absolutely no clue.

I loved it, but I never asked her why.

And I regretted it the instant her hand went cold in mine. I watched her suffer for so long, through so many chemotherapy and radiation treatments, that I felt a moment of relief when she finally passed from this world. I was thrilled she was no longer suffering in pain.

Then a wave of grief slammed into me like a tsunami, and I had so many regrets. So many things I didn’t know. All the things I hadn’t asked.

Right now, at this moment, I’d ask — no, beg — for her help. She’d know what to do. Who to go to.

My life is spiraling out of control and I don’t know how to stop it.

“Mom,” I whisper. “I miss you so much, and I don’t know how to deal with all of this. I’m scared.”

I’m not being dramatic.

I was just told I have until this weekend to move out of this crummy basement apartment, because the owner’s oldest son is moving home from college. I am barely making ends meet as it is, and the only apartments in Eternity Springs are at least a thousand bucks more than what I’m paying.

I’m currently working any odd job I can find, scrounging up money here and there, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough. A handful of random part-time jobs might bring in some money, but I never make enough to pad my savings account, and I certainly never make enough to pay for health insurance.

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