Page 31 of Worth the Vow

Claire: Wait. Do you have a sister-in-law?

Arianna: I do now!

Hannah: Oh sweet Jesus, SHE DID NOT!

Natalie: Someone going to clue me in here?

Claire: OMG, I just saw!

Arianna: Can you believe it?

Natalie: Sometimes I really hate this group chat.

Me: Sigh.

Arianna: Kate, why don’t YOU tell Natalie what I’m talking about?

Me: Why? You’re on a roll.

Natalie: OMG, did you marry Dominic?

Me: Great. Now everyone has seen the shitty gossip article.

Natalie: What article?

Natalie: I didn’t see anything. I just figured if Ari is saying you’re involved, and she has a new sister-in-law, that it means you married the hot single dad you’ve basically been lusting after since you moved here. Unless you married Alex, which I guess could be the same thing? Were you lusting after him too?

Me: NO! I haven’t been lusting after either one of them.

Claire: I have to agree with Nat. You have. You play it off like you despise Dom, but really you want to mount him like a spider monkey.

Me: I don’t want to mount him.

Hannah: Even I don’t believe that, Katharine. I bet you get wet when he says your name like that too.

Dammit. She’s correct.

Me: Dominic irritates the hell out of me.

Claire: Then why did you marry him?

Me: He told me we were getting married because I need health insurance.

Arianna: I thought you could get doctors through Medicaid?

Me: You can, but not specialty care. And the OBGYN I saw basically mansplained periods to me, said they’d be lighter if I lost weight, and told me the pain from my endometriosis and PCOS “couldn’t be that bad”.

Natalie: Give me his name. I can have his home address in less than five minutes, and a plan in place that will keep all the dirt from our hands immediately.

Hannah: Maybe don’t announce a potential crime in a text chat.

Natalie: I didn’t say anything about crimes, my sweet Southern belle. Maybe I just want to go see what color his siding is.

You know, just for kicks, I want to see how quickly she can do this. I pull open the notes app on my phone, where I keep track of every doctor I’ve seen, the dates I’ve been seen, as well as any diagnoses.

Me: His name is Paul Johanson.

Arianna: Anyway, you really don’t think Dom is going to play fair, right? I bet he starts changing shit up immediately. I assume you set some rules?

---