Page 41 of Worth the Vow

Shaking his head, he scoffs, a miserable sound that hits my heart. It’s the sound of disappointment. Hurt. Betrayal. I know I should say something, but I can’t make the words come out. I’ve angered him a ton. Frustration? Absolutely. Maybe disappointment a time or two. But knowing I’ve hurt him is something I can’t fathom. Is he angry because I’m faux-wearing the Santo name, which reflects on him, or is he feeling truly betrayed because I hurt him?

As he strides further into the parking lot, I’m acutely aware of a few things. Dominic has an amazing ass. And when he calls me his wife, I feel like I could dissolve into a puddle of wanton need. But when he suggests I act like his wife? That makes me realize something detrimental to our agreement.

I discover that I want — no, crave — my husband, and I’m severely fucked.

I shake off that last thought as I jog back toward the playground to find my three favorite Santos’.

Dominic

I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry before. Even when I found out about Savannah’s numerous affairs, I remember being more worried about the reputation of the hotel, as well as how our children would fare, instead of Savannah’s betrayal. Somehow, this is different with Kate.

This marriage may not be one that follows the normal route, but we made vows. I looked in her eyes and promised to honor her. That means something. Well, it means something to me, at least. Evidently, Kate sees a gray area where affairs are allowed.

To me, cheating is a deal-breaker. Do not pass Go, do not collect your winnings. Straight to jail. If you’re unhappy in a relationship with me, say something, or break it off. If you go behind my back, we’re done. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. If Kate thinks there’s room to negotiate that, she’s not the woman I thought she was.

Maybe I never verbalized those thoughts to her. If she didn’t know details about my first marriage, it’s possible she might think my moral compass is skewed.

For this to feel worse than Savannah’s affairs tells me that I’m developing feelings for Kate, and I don’t know how to compartmentalize that.

“Dammit!” I shout as I hit my steering wheel with my palm. Instead of turning onto my street, I continue into the town center. Not knowing where I intend to go, I’m thrilled when I see my brother Alex’s car at a restaurant that we frequent. Parking next to his car, I head inside to blow off some steam. I could use a beer.

“Uncle Dom!” Abbie calls out. My gorgeous niece is eleven, and in the throes of tweendom hormones and drama. Alex is struggling. His wife died in a car accident several years back, and Abbie is in dire need of a female role model. Our mom and sisters are doing the best they can, but Abbie is lashing out. She misses her mom.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asks, looking up from the coloring his son, Ben, is working on beside him.

“Saw your car, and decided I needed a beer.”

Alex studies me, tilting his head to the side in a look that is so spot-on for our dad it’s almost scary, then sighs. “Abigail, watch your brother. Uncle Dom and I are going to chat at the bar for a minute.”

“You want me to have them send your food up there?” Abbie asks sweetly.

“I just said — you know what, if I’m not back, sure,” Alex says exasperatedly. He pushes me toward the bar as he mutters, “Fucking hate that she’s started calling me out on my shit.”

“But she does it in such a sweet way,” I comment.

A look of wistfulness covers Alex’s face. “It’s so much like Sara. It fucking hurts, Dom.”

Alex turns away as he gathers himself. While I definitely understand how draining the single dad life is, I can’t begin to imagine the emotions Alex cycles through every day. My wife chose to leave. His didn’t have that luxury.

I won’t tell Alex this, but I never thought Sara was the perfect match for him. Incredibly similar in their introverted tendencies, Sara was quiet and soft-spoken. She rarely challenged Alex, or pushed him to try anything out of his comfort zone. I always assumed he’d end up with someone more outgoing and opinionated. But I’d welcome her back with open arms if it meant bringing happiness back into my big brother’s life.

“You know you’re doing an amazing job, right?” I ask quietly.

Alex laughs bitterly. “I’d rather do a shitty job with Sara still here.”

“I know that. But Sara would be so proud of you. Sara is proud of you, man. You’re an excellent father.”

“I don’t know about that,” he murmurs. “I feel like I’m fucking up left and right. Abbie’s been asking questions about when to know if a boy likes you. And the school sent home a permission slip to approve a sex ed unit. She’s eleven!”

“I know.” Our oldest kids aren’t too far off in age. “These days, they’re inundated with sex so early on. Schools are trying to get ahead of it, I think.”

“I — I don’t want to talk about this. Change of subject. Why do you look like you’re ready to beat the hell out of anyone who looks at you wrong?” he asks.

Now it’s my time to huff in annoyance. “I told Kate about Savannah visiting me at work yesterday, and —”

“That bitch came to the hotel? And no one stopped her?” Alex hisses. “Are you back with her again? I swear to God, Dom, I’ll beat your ass myself.”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m not back with Savannah. Jesus,” I seethe. “I told Kate that Savannah showed up to talk about the kids, then suggested we spend the time in more creative ways.”

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