Page 69 of Reeling in Love

I amble along the streets for some time. Our hotel is close to Champs-Élysées, with its wide walkways and a crowd of people. I’d always dreamed of walking here, shopping here. What I hadn’t hoped was that I’d be wandering this street alone and half-crying.

The Arc de Triomphe is straight ahead and my feet carry me to the vast arch. But I can’t see or appreciate the beauty. My mind is blank. My soul is in pieces. I can’t even think about what I should do.

“Start with apologizing,” Mom’s voice rings in my ears. That’s what she always said when Carla and I got into a fight. That’s what she had told me when I’d kicked Gabs for eating my share of the pork pie when we were kids and then felt sorry for doing it.

I find an empty bench and make myself comfortable. Then I pull out my phone and send out an apology message to both Sophia and Daphne. Daphne doesn’t respond but Sophia replies with a, “Don’t worry about it.”

I smile. Well, some people are not as they seem. Maybe she’s not all that bad. Or maybe she just wants to be polite to her would-be husband’s best friend. Ugh. Even the thought makes my stomach churn and my head reel.

Do I like Gabs? Of course, I do. But do I like him or do I love him?

I don’t know. I don’t believe in love; I remind myself. Love leads to all kinds of stupidity and pain. Look at Mom. Most of her life sucked because of love. Look at Carla. Her supposed boyfriend took advantage of the relationship and sold us out. Look at Daphne and George. Outwardly, they seem happy. But I know George hasn’t been happy for a long time now. He never liked these parties and hanging around with socialites. He preferred a glass of whiskey, a good friend, or a good book as company. That’s it.

Why go so far? Look at me and Gabs. In the brief span of time, when we kinda dated, our lives have gone for a toss. God only knows what would happen if it were real.

So, the question is moot. It doesn’t matter if I like him or love him, because that’s not a path we can or should take.

We’re better off as friends. That is if we can somehow return our friendship to how it was. If I can think about him without getting wet between my legs and pine for the taste of his lips every time I see his face. Ugh! I need to stop thinking about him.

I message Carla. She hasn’t heard from Kevin. He has switched off his phone and hasn’t returned home since he confessed to his betrayal.

An old woman comes and sits down on the other end of the bench and gives me a sweet smile. I try to respond in kind, but find it quite taxing to move the muscles in my face to spread my lips into something that may resemble a smile.

Thankfully, the ringing of my phone spares me the embarrassment.

“Mom?” I say, picking up.

“How are you?”

“Fine,” I reply out of habit.

“I know you’re not fine.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Out of habit.”

“Yeah, and I replied out of habit.”

She’s quiet for a while. “You and I, Nora. We’re not that different.”

Now, that’s the last thing I want to hear. To be compared to Mom. She’s always been scared and timid, far from what I try to be.

“Not in the way you’re thinking. I know you’re stronger than me. You’ve taught me to take risks and try out new things. Hell, I am what I am today because of you and Carla. But… don’t take this the other way, darling. Promise me first.”

“Go on. Say what you want to. You won’t stop whatever I answer, so just go ahead.”

“You’re scared to admit when you’re wrong. Don’t be like me, Nora. You’re not doing anyone a favor by being so stubborn in your thinking.”

“What do you mean? I’m not stubborn.”

“Do you like Gabriel?”

“Of course, I do. He’s my best friend.”

“Do you think he’s anything more than that to you?”

“Wow! I admitted to you and Carla that’s all we are and that exact thing has created this mess that we’re both in. And you ask me this question? Really?”

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