Page 32 of Return on Love

I look at him. If it hadn’t been him, I’d have hugged him. I finish most of his lunch, apart from the few bites that Nora and Gabriel take to taste, and I grudgingly let them.

“Apple pie, anyone?” Ryan says once we’re done.

“What?” Gabriel asks. “I know you bake, but why have we never eaten all this before?”

“Because then you might ask me to bake it every day. And I have a business to run, which is not a bakery,” Ryan says, bringing out the most delicious-smelling apple pie in the history of apple pies.

“It must be because of Eva,” Nora says, her mouth full of the pie. “That is the only thing that’s changed.”

I look up to find Ryan staring at me. I don’t know whether he even heard what Nora says because he doesn’t deny it. “You like it?” he asks.

“It’s finger-licking good,” I reply in all earnestness. He turns away immediately, and my cheeks burn up a little at the ‘finger-licking’ thing. Why am I imagining actually licking his fingers?

Thankfully, Nora and Gabriel don’t seem to notice anything, and the rest of the day continues normally without me having any weird thoughts about the man I hate. Well, maybe ‘hate’ is too strong a word.

Friday comes, but no email is in my inbox with the financials. Ryan is locked up with his team in his office, and Gabriel is out of office all day for some bank-related work.

I put in details into my presentation for the partners. You may not realize it, but putting together an impressive presentation is an art. One that all associates learn at the firm. And it may sound a little pompous, but I’m one of the best. It takes time and skill, but I don’t stop till I have the right font, the right size and the right colors. Creating master slides takes me almost the entire first half of the day.

I take a brief break for coffee and find a small packet with my name written on it next to the machine. It’s grilled chicken salad and a chocolate oatmeal cookie. I smile as I eat it, knowing too well who must’ve kept it here. I walk over to his office after the meal. They’re all working on their systems, and Ryan is bending over and helping one of them debug something. I can see his side-profile, the movement of his arm muscles as he types and points at something on the screen.

I almost jump a little when he looks up, as if caught stealing something. He smiles. It’s not that awkward now. He’s smiled at me plenty in the past week. In a few moments, once I’ve gathered my wits about me, I lift the now empty packet and mouth a ‘thankyou’ to him. He just nods, a happy nod, and goes back to his work.

I also return to mine—the amazing art of creating a presentation while the others actually create a product. The content can’t be all in words. There have to be charts, graphs, images. I plan out the flow of the presentation. Once I’m done, I find my head is aching from looking at the screen for too long. It’s still early, but I can work from my apartment, so saying a quick goodbye to Nora, I leave.

I check my email later that evening, but nothing from Ryan yet. But, I’m glad to find RamBam online.

“How’s the girl? You said she wanted to put you in deep shit. Got rid of her yet?”

“Nah. It’s not that simple. I don’t want to hurt her in any way.”

“Why? Is she pretty?”

“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Mm hm! Someone seems to like her.” I follow it up with kiss emojis followed by laughing ones.

“Promise me you won’t tease me. Then I’ll tell you a secret.”

“Secrets! I love them. I can promise to try.”

I see three dots coming, then disappearing, then coming again. I want to type something, but I decide to give him time.

“You may not remember, but I had a crush on a girl long back. She’s the same one. And unfortunately, my feelings have only gotten stronger now. Every time I see her, I want to kiss her so hard that she forgets everything and everyone. I want to hold her so tight as to suck the breath out of her lungs and make love to her till she screams my name. I never want to let her go. The pain of holding back and behaving neutrally is eating me alive.”

“Wow!” I respond after a few seconds. She’s one lucky girl. “Does she know how you feel?”

“I’ve given her hints but there’s nothing from her side. Plus, she’s engaged. So obviously I’m not expecting anything to happen.”

“What? She told you?”

“I heard her tell someone else.”

“That’s too bad. I’m so sorry.” I really am. I feel for RamBam. Such powerful emotions for a person who is engaged to someone else. It must hurt terribly.

“It’s okay. Even if she wasn’t, she still hates me.”

“No one can hate you, RamBam.”

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