Page 37 of Return on Love

“Did Weber put you up to this?” I hate myself for asking it, but I need to know. “You both have been concealing things from me all this while. How do I trust you?”

He walks over and sits on the other edge of the couch. “I didn’t know better. But before I give my reasons, I’d just like to say again how sorry I am. I don’t want you to think of what I tell you next as an excuse for my behavior. It’s not. I had my reasons, but that doesn’t take away the fact that you were hurt. For that, I’m sorry.”

I can feel his words blasting my resolve into tiny pieces like the death star annihilating a planet. My hatred and anger flow away, leaving behind a very vulnerable and frail core.

“I’ve never hurt you intentionally. The first meeting with Weber, the call before your arrival here, he said you were busy preparing for your travel. He said it’s someone from the firm but that the person had little idea about gaming space. Honestly, I didn’t want such a person here.”

I nodded. Neither would I, if I were him.

“One thing I knew about you from grad school days was that you’re smart. I also thought you hated me and I wasn’t sure if you’d try to sabotage our chances with your firm. Anyway, we rented this apartment for you. I came in earlier that day to make sure everything was fine. Then I saw you that evening.”

Was it Ryan who had ensured the perfection of this house? The Pinot Noir too? I remember the wine at his house. Did he really know my favorite?

He stares at me as if seeing me for the first time. Or was it the other way round? Was I seeing him for the first time? This Ryan, making these statements, seems so different from the person I knew, or thought I knew.

“Anyway,” he says, clearing his throat and peeling his eyes away from my face. “You proved me right on your first day in the office.”

“You mean the day I trash-talked your game?” I say, a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry about that.”

“No. No. Not that. I needed someone to tell me the hard truth. To make me see I was stuck. Somewhere, deep down, I think I already knew it. But it gave me a much-needed jolt coming from you. What I meant was that you complained to Weber about me that day, because I couldn’t meet you. I had to pick up Jen from school. Gabriel told you, but you still complained. Clearly, I felt that your hatred for me was affecting the fate of my company.”

He moves a little closer to me. I can almost smell his musky perfume and feel the heat radiating from his torso.

“Then when I was in LA, Weber called me up. Said that since I was in LA, we should meet up. I told him we should call you as well, but he said you refused to travel. Anyway, it was just an informal meeting. He asked me about you, and I told him we had had no time to meet. His interpretation of that sentence was different, I gather.”

He looks straight at me, and I feel a tingle in my spine.

“Look, I had no idea he wasn’t briefing you on the meetings. The next time when we were to meet, I didn’t bother that the team took up the time for our meeting, because I assumed you’ll be joining Weber and me on the call. You didn’t. I was… I was actually angry at you. I thought you’re not giving your best to us, maybe because we’re a small company or because you didn’t like me. Trust me, I had no clue that you didn’t know about the call or about the rescheduling of the partner meeting. I thought you didn’t intentionally tell me.”

I see sadness and pain in his eyes. The surprising thing is that even though I thought I’d be happy to see him like this, I’m not.

“Why didn’t you just tell me all this? As for the meetings, you could’ve emailed me. Couldn’t you?” I ask, my tone much softer now, but my brain still uneasy.

“I did. The meeting invites are all there. The financials are there, all sent to your email id.”

I take out my phone and check again. No. Nothing. “I have nothing. See.” I show him my phone and he bends a little towards me to have a look. His face is so close to mine that if I just turn my face, my lips will brush against his cheek. I feel my entire body tense up.

“Not this email id,” he says finally. “The other one, evajones.”

“No, mine is joneseva. That’s the one I’ve been sending you the emails from. Who even gave you this email id?”

“Weber,” he whispers. “He told me specifically to use evajones id for any communication regarding our project.” I’m at a loss to understand what’s really happening. He pauses before continuing again. “Does he have any problem with you? Weber. Could he be doing this on purpose?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Lily, my friend, told me there’s some office politics going on. It could be a part of that. Or maybe he just doesn’t like me. I’m really not sure. But why didn’t you just ask me earlier why I’m not joining the meetings?”

“I thought it was because you don’t like me,” he said. He touches my shoulder, and a bolt of lightning runs down my entire body. He presses my shoulder a little and our eyes lock together for an instant. “I’m sorry. Please don’t punish my entire company for my silliness.”

“I couldn’t do that,” my voice is a little soft.

Our eyes are still locked, and he bends forward. It’s as if a magnet is holding us together, bringing us closer, without us doing anything. I lean a little towards him. His warm breath falls on my cheeks. The distance between our faces diminishes with every passing moment. I can feel my lips trembling. I want this. So bad. But I know it’ll change things the way they are.

“Will you please stay?” he whispers in my ear.

I nod, not breaking the eye contact. It’s as if I’ve lost the ability to look away from him. My hand slowly finds its way to his back, and I can feel his muscles tense a little.

I feel his hand move from my shoulder to the nape of my neck. The gentle yet eager touch of his other hand on the small of my back. I hear the thumping of a heartbeat, mine or his, I cannot say. My eye moves down to his lips. They’re slightly parted. It’s killing me to see those beautiful lips but not touching them. I lean in, eager to bridge the remaining gap between us. I close my eyes just as I brush my lips over his and taste him. Suddenly, it’s as if a dam broke. He presses his mouth so hard against mine, I can feel his teeth and the touch of his tongue against my lips. Like a hungry beast, I devour his lips. Our tongues meet and romp around with each other. I run my fingers through his soft hair, almost plucking them off the roots. His huge palms press my head closer to his till we cannot breathe. I try to move closer, to erase any distance between us. It’s like I’ve lost control over my senses and my bodily hunger has taken over. I can feel his hardness through the clothes. I’m almost ready to straddle him when he pushes back.

He takes a few deep breaths. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can feel the rest of my body demanding his.

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