Page 30 of Return on Love

I don’t want to leave. I’m so charged up, I think I can code the game myself. Of course, the lack of coding knowledge is a hurdle. But if I knew coding, I could and would.

Everyone files out of the room, still giving suggestions, shouting from one end of the floor to another. By the time we’re waiting for the elevator, two months seems very doable. We all high-five each other as we part ways. Ryan and I are the only ones remaining.

“Well, see you tomorrow,” I say, smiling. I’m genuinely happy and excited.

“Yeah. I’ll drop you home?”

He’s probably saying it out of courtesy, but I don’t feel like imposing my hateful self in front of him any longer. It’s been a good day and I don’t want to spoil it.

“I’d rather walk. Been sitting the whole day. Some exercise for the limbs would be good, I suppose.”

“Ok. I’ll walk with you.”

Walk with me? What is happening here? I mean, is this even real?

“No thanks. The apartment is close enough.” I smile and begin walking.

“I can either follow you a few steps behind, or we can walk together. Your choice. But it’s very late, and I’d rather see you home safe before leaving.”

Ah, I get it. He probably thinks I’ll wander off somewhere again and then call him for help. Shit! I brought this upon myself.

We walk together.

“I enjoyed today,” I tell him, without turning to look at his face. “You have a good team and they really respect you.”

“Yeah. They’re a good bunch. So, you think this could score a home run for us in your partners’ meeting?”

I shrug. “Who knows? But I’m sure that this increases your chances.” I debate whether to ask him why he didn’t mark me on the email, but decide against it. We’re in a reasonably good place right now, work-wise, and I don’t want to rock the ship.

“Well, here we are,” he says, while my mind is still occupied. I realize a little late that I’ve gone a few steps ahead. “You really have a tendency to wander at night. Good that I came along.” I turn around to face him, my brain working overtime to come up with a repartee. Then I see him smiling, a twinkle in his eyes. Oh, Lordy lord. Twice in a day, he’s teased me. The world is surely coming to an end.

Seeing that tiny dimple on his cheek, my brain stops working, and no words come out, witty or otherwise.

“Feel free to call me anytime you’re lost. I’ll always be there.”

Wait, what? If I didn’t know him better, I’d actually be falling for him. That deep, drawling voice, the fake sincerity, the perfect words. But, as it is, I do know him. He’s just saying it, so I continue to help him get his funding. Biding his time, bearing up with me.

I just nod and enter the building. Only once I’m inside does he turn and go back towards the office, where his car is parked.

I don't have time to think about his words or intentions. No time to analyze his body language, nor his hatred level for me. I’m too tired and sleep comes easily to me.

The following days go by in a flash. I help the team with the storyline for the game. The creative process seems as good as writing a novel to me. Now it’s time for the coders to do their magic.

Ryan dropping me off in the evening has become a thing. It’s our five-six minutes of knowing each other. For example, I know that every weekend he teaches Jen coding and that Emily is a doctor and if she has to go on emergencies, he sometimes helps with Jen. I know he loves to bake and cook. I tell him a little about Lily and my work and we discuss books and movies.

It’s Thursday, and as I sit in my room, the first time this week, I feel an emptiness. I loved sitting with the team, the discussions, the mini-fights. But now, we each have our own work to attend to. I still have to figure out the financials, the projections and the valuation. I open the files and realize that the latest numbers are still missing.

I walk over to Gabriel’s office. “Hey. I wanted to work on the projections today, but I still don’t have the numbers for the last two quarters. What’s the holdup?”

He looks at me, then at his screen. “Um. It’s not final yet.”

“Then give me the tentative figures. There won’t be a significant change, right? I can update the model with the final numbers later.”

“Yeah. Let me talk to Ryan. I’ll try to send you something by evening or tomorrow morning.”

I smile and nod. That’s weird. I never pegged Gabriel as incompetent or a procrastinator. Why is he dilly-dallying in giving me the financials?

“Have you been told not to share the document with me?” I ask, surprised at myself. I’m usually not good at confronting people with what I feel, but this is affecting my work. Plus, it’ll also tell me whether they really trust me.

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