Page 58 of Excess

The intercom beeped gently on the wall, disturbing the peace I was desperately trying to acquire. But Graeme only buzzed directly into the nest if it was urgent, so I padded across the room to answer him.

“Um, Ms Dara?” he began uncomfortably. “Your father is here to see you.”

I took a deep breath in, using Blake’s lingering scent to calm myself, before exhaling.

“I’ll be right down. We’ll take tea in the drawing room—”

“Your father felt the dining room would be more appropriate.”

And, of course, Graeme had agreed without hesitation despite the fact that this was my house and I theoretically set the rules.

I disconnected the conversation without saying goodbye, scraping my hair back into a neat ponytail, slipping my feet into slides, and dousing myself with Om-Guard from head to toe.

It had probably been close to twenty years since my father had seen me without a stitch of make-up on, dressed in lounge clothes. I’d spent my evenings when I was away at school looking like this, but I was expected to put my best foot forward on weekend visits to my parents.

Graeme would have mentioned if Mama was here, so at least I didn’t have to deal with the fallout from her seeing my outfit. She’d have probably fainted, and it would have turned into a whole thing.

I startled at the sound of tools clinking together further down the hall as I headed out of my nest and downstairs. Blake had apparently left my nest, but he hadn’t actually left the house yet. Maybe he was just packing up for the day.

“Inie,” Papa said, looking at me in surprise as I entered the dining room where he was already sitting at the head of the table. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” I took the seat kitty-corner to him, choosing not to elaborate.

“Inie,” Papa sighed. “We really must talk about that… conflict the other morning. You’ve been avoiding us—Mama is very worried, you know. It’s very unkind of you to do this to her.”

I squeezed my fingers together in my lap, digging my nails into the backs of my hands to stop myself from saying something that I’d regret later, like “I’m sorry. I’ll be a good omega. Please stop being mad at me. It makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.”

Those were instincts talking, though. And I was more than just my instincts.

“I’m going to buy my own house after this heat has passed,” I said calmly. “With my own money. You can have this one back.”

Not that it had ever been in my name or anything to begin with.

“Honestly, this is a decision I should have made a long time ago. I supposed, with Om-Guard always on the table and yet not quite in my reach, I felt as though I couldn’t make a decision yet. But now we have clarity over that situation—”

“We do not,” Papa insisted.

“—I’m able to make plans of my own with a clear conscience. Inika Dara has always felt like a role I had to play. I want to find out who I am when… well, when no one else is watching, I suppose.”

I thought of Blake and the way he looked at me—both in bed and out of it—and admitted to myself that perhaps that statement wasn’t entirely true. I liked who I was when he was watching.

When all was said and done, I really hoped we could at least stay friends.

“This isn’t like you, Inie,” Papa fretted, shaking his head. “Your heat is approaching, and you’ve been alone so long. It’s making you think crazy things.”

“A lot of thought has gone into this over a number of years, Papa. Please don’t reduce all of that down to heat hormones, it’s incredibly disrespectful.”

“It’s the only thing it can be,” he insisted. “I will ask Dr Batuk to come out and visit you—”

“I don’t need to see a doctor.”

“—she always has excellent advice.” Papa nodded to himself, satisfied that he’d solved the problem. Typical alpha nonsense. They barged in without a shred of situational awareness, did whatever they wanted without consultation or feedback, and declared the problem solved.

I thought about arguing with him, but there wasn’t any point. He’d send Dr Batuk around, regardless. At the very worst, I could have a general physical done.

“I will arrange that for you,” Papa said decisively, pushing out of his seat and already heading for the door. “All will be well. She will give you whatever it is you need. And then we can discuss this Hugo again, yes? Yes. All will be as it should be.”

I sighed heavily, pouring myself a cup of tea from the untouched tray on the table and adding a dash of milk before carrying it upstairs with me in the hopes that it would help me settle down.

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