Page 51 of Excess

“Inika picked Freya up and looked after her for the afternoon.”

Dad’s eyes went wide. “That’s awfully… generous of her.”

“She’s a very generous person.”

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think I might have to ask anyway. What’s going on here, Blake? This is no normal client relationship.”

There was a large part of me that wanted to brush him off because that was the status quo. Whenever I’d needed to talk about something, Mum was the one I’d gone to. But she wasn’t here anymore, and I’d lost touch with the few friends I’d once had because I hadn’t put in any effort, and my twin was a fucking alien to me.

Shit, maybe I just wanted to talk about Inika. I wanted someone to know that this incredible, beautiful, interesting woman had for some reason chosen me, if only for a little while.

“We’re friends.” I cleared my throat. “And we’re sleeping together.”

“The friends part is probably more surprising than anything,” Dad said drily. “It’s pretty obvious that you’ve been sleeping with her. You’ve been far less miserable these past few weeks.”

Had I?

“You’re not getting attached though, are you?” Dad asked nervously. “You’re from different worlds, son.”

“I’m acutely aware of that.”

Dad didn’t look particularly reassured, and maybe it was because my tone wasn’t as assertive as it could have been.

“I am aware of that,” I reiterated. “I’m the one who said I couldn’t commit when she asked me for more, um, time. Partly because I need to be here, but also because… well, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it without getting attached.”

I’d left that part out when I was talking to Inika, mostly to preserve whatever shreds of dignity I had left.

Hey, thanks for asking me to casually fuck you senseless for five days solid but I might blurt out that I love you mid-orgasm and ruin the moment.

I blinked at the thought, quickly taking a gulp of my tea to hide whatever was happening on my face. Did I love Inika?

Probably not. Right?

I’d never been in love before, so I didn’t have a frame of reference for it. But Inika didn’t make me feel tortured or filled with longing or any of those things that the love songs said I was supposed to feel.

When I was around her, I just felt… content.

I didn’t know what illness that was a symptom of.

“Did Leo leave his bed today?” I asked, desperate to change the subject.

Dad was suddenly very interested in the contents of his cup. “Go easy on him, would you? It’s never been as easy for Leo as it was for you.”

“We had the exact same upbringing,” I pointed out scathingly. “We entered this world seven minutes apart.”

It was exhausting, always treating Leo with kid gloves, never expecting him to take responsibility for his own actions. He had a kid of his own now. It was past time for him to grow up.

“I know, I know.” Dad sighed, shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “Things just never came as easily to him as they did to you, Blake. You always did well in school, and you never worked particularly hard for it. You did well at sports. You excelled in the army, and picked up plastering like it was nothing, and manage the business side of it without much fuss. Leo has only ever been good with his fists, and you’re not too shabby with those either.”

“He managed to find himself a mate.”

“He did,” Dad agreed. “He found a mate and started a family, and it was the one time in his life where he felt like he’d beat you at something.”

What a grim concept.

“I’m not in competition with Leo,” I said firmly. “I never have been.”

“I know. And I wish he wasn’t in competition with you—I’ve told him so plenty of times over the years.” Dad sighed heavily, setting his cup down on the counter with a thud. “For a while there, with Ella, he felt like he finally had it together. That he’d found a path that was purely his and he was going to walk it. That’s not to say you’ve done anything wrong,” he added hastily. “You taking him and Freya in has been a real lifesaver for them.”

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