Page 43 of Excess

“Right.” I exhaled heavily. “I’m just going to come out and say it—”

“I can’t take a mate,” Blake blurted out, his face flushing. “If that’s what you’re going to ask. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t treat her right. I wouldn’t be able to make her a priority.”

Maybe I wasn’t ready to go out into the world and make my own mistakes. Maybe I should crawl back to my parents and let them make the mistakes for me.

No. No. I could do this. While I understood why his mind had gone there first, I was still slightly startled by the assumption. If I ever asked an alpha to accompany me to my nest for the purpose of becoming my mate, I’d do it in a slightly more romantic setting than this.

“I… know. No, I know. Well, I don’t necessarily think that’s true, but never mind. That wasn’t what I was going to ask you.”

“Right.” Blake cleared his throat, his cheeks flushing. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“No, no, don’t apologise. I know it’s standard practice for omegas to spend their heats alone if they’re unmated, but I usually… don’t.”

Blake frowned. “What does that mean?”

I hadn’t thought this through. Actually explaining the concept of Prendre to Blake was a mortifying proposition. “There are, well, services available. Alphas who make themselves available to help omegas during their heats.”

I’d never seen Blake’s eyes go so wide. He generally wasn’t so expressive.

“The service includes a support crew to keep the alpha safe. The alpha and the omega both wear muzzles for the duration. There’s a nurse on hand too to administer the postcoital contraception shot directly after the heat to ensure there’s no pregnancy. That kind of thing.”

“It sounds…” He trailed off, looking slightly lost for words. “I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

I cleared my throat. “It’s prohibitively expensive for the vast majority of people. And many would find it… wrong, I guess. For some people, heats are meant to be these sacred moments between mates.”

“Not you?”

Oddly, no one had ever asked me that quite so directly before. My parents knew I used an agency, and they hated it but also hated the idea of me suffering which seemed to cancel it out. Most of my friends kept their disapproval to themselves, especially since it was such a taboo subject to begin with. And the only other people who knew about it were my staff, who weren’t going to be honest with me anyway.

“Maybe it’s just because I’m a pampered little omega heiress, but I don’t see any virtue in suffering when I don’t have to.” I shrugged. If that made me spoiled or high maintenance or out of touch, then I guessed that I just was all of those things. “Going through heat alone is awful, but committing to a life with someone just to have a partner for it is an even worse prospect. I’m able to afford this service, so I make the most of it.”

Blake nodded slowly, his brow furrowed. “I guess that makes sense. And you wanted to discuss that with… me?”

The intention of my ill-thought-out plan had been to frame the idea as something that could be fun for both of us. But seeing the confused and not at all horny look on his face had me wondering if the offer would come across as kind of insulting. The sex we were having right now was a mutually beneficial arrangement. Servicing me through my heat was just that—a service. Just because the alphas enjoyed themselves didn’t mean it wasn’t hard work.

And I didn’t want him to think I thought of him as just good for sex, even if a relationship between us was never possible. I liked Blake’s company. I respected him.

He meant something to me, despite my best intentions.

I took a step back, soothing omega smile in place. “You know, never mind. I don’t think I’ve gone about this the right way—”

“Ask the question, princess,” Blake commanded softly, using the voice he used in bed which was so patently unfair. I was helpless against that.

“If you wanted to be that alpha in the room, in the nest… It can be arranged. That’s all. They can give you a briefing and put the various safety measures in place to make sure you can’t bite me, and they provide a support crew for your comfort. Okay, well that’s all I wanted to say. I’m going to go crawl into a hole and die now.”

“No, you’re not.” Blake reached for me before I could turn away, pulling me in close. He was covered in plaster dust, and it immediately coated my clothes, but I didn’t care.

I was getting a hug. Blake and I didn’t hug. I mean, maybe post-sex, but we were literally stuck together then, so it’d be awkward if he put his hands anywhere except around me.

“Thank you, Inika. I’m glad you thought of me, and I’m glad you were brave enough to ask. But I can’t take five days away from my family, as much as I would very much like to.”

I nodded against his chest. Inika, you idiot. Of course, he wasn’t going to just abandon Freya for five days.

He sighed. “This is the only time I’ve been tempted to take some time away from them, though. You’re hard to say no to.”

“I probably shouldn’t have asked.”

“I’m glad you did.”

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