Page 43 of No First Kisses

I get up from the chair I’ve had my ass planted in since we walked into the room, and I stand in front of her, cupping her cheeks with my hands. Once I have her attention, I clear my throat and kiss her quickly. Just a peck on the lips.

“You made me a promise, right?”

She nods.

“To do whatever you had to in order to keep you and our boy safe. If that means bed rest for the next two months, you’ll do it. Right?”

I’m not really asking, and she knows it. If I have to get fuzzy handcuffs and a vinyl fuckin’ rope, I’ll make sure that she doesn’t put herself in any danger. Not for this.

“You just ate. And I know for a fact you’ve been getting enough calories in for you to gain weight. But you’re not. So now, we’re going to do whatever he says that we need to. You’re going to rest and be spoiled and just suffer with being happily pregnant.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “And if you decide not to, I’ll get some fuzzy handcuffs.” I decide to tell her exactly what I’ll do. “I’ll make sure that you’re happily stuck in our house, even if I have to tie you up to make it happen.”

My heart is already pounding in my chest at the thought that she is actively putting herself in danger to carry our baby. I can’t even imagine what will happen if her pregnancy puts her life in jeopardy.

Losing her will destroy me.

It’s just not an option that I’m okay with.

It is the only reason I’ve stayed away from her for all these years. If I don’t have her, I can’t lose her.

Now that I’ve been shoved in this direction, I’m not going to lose her. I refuse.

“Okay.” The tension in her shoulders dissipates, leaving nothing but the defeated look on her face.

But her agreement does nothing to alleviate the pressure in my gut. The anxiety and fear of losing Poppy is right there. Not only am I dealing with Ortega and anything that’s coming from his direction, but now this.

“She’ll do the bed rest, Doc. Anything else that we need to do in the meantime?” Poppy slips her hand into mine, lacing our fingers together.

Kyle nods. “Great. For now, you just keep eating whatever you want to, within reason. And we’ll be back here in two weeks to check and make sure everything is going the right way. Now.” He claps his hands together with a smile. “Are you ready to see your baby again?”

Poppy nods, a small smile taking over her face. “I drank so much of Logan’s soda at lunch. You don’t even know. I can’t wait to see how much he moves.”

Kyle stands up and walks to the door. “I’m gonna grab the ultrasound tech and be right back. Once we make sure you’re measuring the right way and your placenta is healthy, you’ll be on your way.”

“Thank you.” I hold out my hand for Kyle to shake.

He takes it, nodding with a knowing look on his face.

Kyle didn’t need to spill Poppy’s secret, and if she hadn’t been in the room, I have no doubt that he wouldn’t have said anything. But she was there, with me, and she hadn’t demanded that he not share with me. The amount of respect that I have for the other man grows to new heights in that moment. It took strength for him to navigate a situation like ours with grace and while also respecting Poppy and the fact that this is ultimately her decision to make.

Once the door is closed behind him, Poppy immediately opens her mouth.

“I refused to terminate,” she snaps. “You can’t get mad at me for making that choice. I’m not going to regret it or take it back. I don’t care what it costs me. I’m having our baby and you can just suck on a rotten potato if you think anything else about it.”

There is only one thing keeping me from being happy, and even the thought of putting it into words makes me sick to my stomach. But I can’t not bring it up.

“And what am I going to do if having our baby kills you? Because I can tell you, my heart goes with you. If something happens to you, I may as well eat a fuckin’ bullet, Poppy. If you go, I’m following you into the ground.”

The door opens, and anything else we may have said gets pushed aside. While I watch our baby on the screen, all I can think of is the cost he will come with.

And I’m man enough to admit that I’m not prepared to pay that price.

I never will be.

15

POPPY

Whoever rings my doorbell waits on my front porch until I finally waddle from the kitchen into the living room and open the door with gasping breaths.

---