Page 38 of No First Kisses

“No.” I turned, trying to keep the devastation off my face and out of my voice. “No, we’re going to stay right here and let Mom and Dad do what they have to.” I grabbed Finn’s shirt when he tried to run by me. “No,” I repeated myself. “No, Finn. You gotta stay here.”

A heartbreaking sob escaped his lungs, and he threw himself into my arms. Emily wrapped herself around Finn and pressed into my side. Even Bax, only eight years old, seemed to understand something terrible was happening. He got up off the couch and joined us, wrapping one small hand tightly around my wrist.

“What’s wrong, Lo?” His innocent eyes staring up at me, combined with Emily and Finn’s tears, broke me.

Sinking to my knees, I wrapped my arms around my siblings, ignoring the sirens in the distance. Holding on to them was the most important thing in the entire world.

Because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Lettie wouldn’t be okay. Her skin was blue. And her eyes… They were open. Staring lifelessly up at the sky while our parents did everything they could to save her life.

The man in the car hadn’t brought her home. He wasn’t trying to help her. He was disposing of the body. And the needle still sticking out of Lettie’s arm, the one that he hadn’t bothered to remove, was the only explanation I needed of what happened.

“Lo.” Poppy wrapped herself around my back, pressing her face into my hair. “Lo. Please tell me you didn’t see the same thing I did.”

“Shh.” I sobbed, not bothering to keep it back. “We’ll talk about it later. Right now.” I choked on air. “Right now… They need us to be strong. They need me to be strong.”

“Right now, they need me to be strong,” I whisper the words, bringing my pain and reality from the past back to the present.

Lettie died.

And two weeks later, I almost lost Poppy too.

“Fuck.” I slam my hand into the side of my truck, wincing at the pain.

Then, before I do anything stupid like run away from the woman that I love, I pull out my phone.

“It’s important,” I tell Ian as soon as he answers. “Can you fit me in?” Before he can ask if it’s Poppy, I clear that shit right up. “It’s not a Poppy situation.” We both know that things with Poppy are better than they’ve ever been. But there’s still a lot of shit going on that could send me over the edge.

Thankfully, this isn’t one of those times.

“Eight a.m. is a hell of a lot better than four a.m.” He laughs bitterly. “I’m in the office, and my next appointment isn’t until ten thirty. Get here soon.”

I laugh, ending the call. Then I turn and walk across the parking lot to the building that houses Ian’s office.

He is waiting in the doorway, talking to Chloe when I walk in. As soon as he sees my face, he backs into his office without saying a word to his wife.

Once I shut the door behind me, I get right down to business. “I need you to keep me from murdering someone.”

13

POPPY

Something happened to Logan at work, and he immediately inserts himself completely up my ass. Then to top it off, he refuses to leave me alone, even if it is just to go to the bathroom. But he won’t tell me what it was that happened. So, every single time I get pissed off, it’s all his fault.

“Why?” I try to slam the door but he just walks right in. “I need to pee, and you’re too annoying to let me do my business without leaving me alone.”

“Humor me.” Logan’s eyes aren’t on me, though.

He is already looking back over his shoulder toward the main bathroom door like someone will break into the room at any moment. He even has his dominant hand resting toward his back, where I know for a fact that he carries his off-duty weapon.

“Lo.” I lower my voice. “If you check the bathroom and it’s clear, with no point of entry or exit except for the door, you can stand outside while I pee.” Motioning to my stomach, I sigh. “I’ve got a freaking basketball here, and I’m already embarrassed enough that I farted on you this morning. Can’t you just let me pee alone?” Unashamedly pouting, I take a deep breath when I see the tension release from his shoulders.

“You’re not gonna try to escape through the window or anything, are you?” He watches me carefully, trying to figure out what my thoughts are. “You don’t have a getaway car stashed, right?”

That is the other thing that’s started to bother me. It is like a switch flipped, and the man who usually stands confident in the feelings that I have for him is gone. In his place is a man who questions every single thing. Every look. Every word. If I didn’t feel like I’m about to start peeing down my leg, I’d set him straight right now. But it isn’t like he can go anywhere. We are off on the same day for the first time in a week, and he’d finally convinced me to go out to eat.

The offer of taco pizza is one that I literally can’t turn down. Especially when our baby starts to jump when I even think about eating the pizza.

“I’m not going to fit out the window even if I want to.” I stare pointedly at my stomach, which seems to grow by the second. “I promise you’re fine.”

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