Page 31 of No First Kisses

“You got shot, and before you’d ever had a chance to live, I felt your heart stop. Before we had a chance to live.”

Her arm tightens around my body for a moment before she catches herself and releases the tension.

“I wanted you to live. To be happy, even if it wasn’t with me. But there’s no happy for me without you, Poppy. There’s only existence. Barely there, crappy, and lifeless existence.” I press my lips to the top of her head, breathing in the scent—vanilla and spice, the one that’s uniquely hers. “I created the wall so I’d always know where my heart was. Where home was for me. Just a reminder, really, because you’re burned into my soul. When I close my eyes, you’re always there. I wanted to see it with my eyes open too. Even though my choice tore us apart. I walked away, but that doesn’t mean that my heart didn’t choose you. Every single day.”

“You made that choice for me, too,” she counters softly. “You think you’re the only one who’s been existing and miserable? It’s been fourteen years, and I’ve barely held it together enough to survive. Watching you, knowing that I couldn’t walk across a room and throw my arms around you. That your kisses weren’t mine. The nights you break into my house are the best because in the dark I get to lie to myself. I can pretend that you’re going to be there in the morning when I open my eyes. You took that away from me. And it still hurts because I’m convinced that you’re going to take it away.”

I breathe deeply, trying not to panic at the thought of her leaving because once again, I’ve fucked it up. Even if I never admit it to another person, Poppy is the only one in the entire world who can wreck me without saying a single word. Just the look in her eyes will take me out at the knees. So, while I listen to everything she says, the truth that I can’t deny, I can’t watch her.

“I’m not going to leave,” I finally whisper. “And I’ll prove it to you every single day. There are times I won’t be there when you wake up in the morning, and times that you won’t be there for me. But at the end of shift, I’ll be here. I’m not gonna miss a single day if I can help it. A single hour. Everything I’ve done, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was wrong. I’m an idiot, but I’m trying.”

“Lo.” Poppy cups my cheek with her hand, and I have no choice but to lower my eyes to hers. “Take me to bed.”

I don’t give her a chance to change her mind. Taking all the care in the world not to hurt her or our baby, I pick Poppy up into my arms, wrapping one hand under her knees and the other around her back. Then I carry her into the house and up the stairs to our bedroom.

“Don’t drop me. I don’t wanna break my neck.”

Her order makes me pause on the stairs. “Never, Poppy.”

When I put her down on the edge of the bed, Poppy doesn’t move. Instead, she watches me with a smile on her face and leans back, putting her weight on her arms.

Her leggings are tight, but I have no problem peeling them off her skin, along with the black lace panties. That leaves only her shirt, which is technically mine. The dark-green one that I gave her the day I enlisted all those years ago, with USMC in black across the chest.

She’s worn it so much that the letters are faded, soft, and practically threadbare.

“I love you in my shirt.” A growl leaves my lips. “But I like you even better in nothing at all.”

At my admission, she bites her lip and lifts the shirt over her head.

“Why do you still have clothes on?”

Poppy’s question has me pulling my shirt over my head by the collar with one hand, and then I strip out of my jeans before she can say anything else.

When her eyes lock on my dick, I almost laugh. I would have if I wasn’t getting harder by the second. Just the way her chest heaves while her tongue pokes out and licks her lips a little at a time has me palming myself and squeezing.

Picturing the way she uses that tongue on my dick is going to drive me over the edge.

One. Two. Three.

I almost have myself back under control until she leans back again and spreads her legs.

“Are you already wet for me?” She nods. “You’re going to kill me.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “I kind of am. Blame it on the fact that you got me pregnant.”

Yes. I did that.

My internal monologue has to be put on pause because if I don’t get inside her, I’m going to die. Maybe not die but suffer a fate worse than death.

Poppy’s hand slips down her stomach and I lose it.

“Mine,” I whisper against the skin of her neck while I grab both her hands and raise them above her head. “All mine.”

She moves her head, bringing her lips to mine, and I have no choice but to give her the kiss that she silently demands. And when her mouth opens and her tongue wars with mine for the last bit of control between our bodies, I press my body against hers.

“I’m not going to last long.” Poppy gasps when the head of my cock notches at her entrance. “I need this so much, Lo. Please.”

With one hand holding her hands and the other wrapped around my hard length, I smile down at her. “Good. I don’t want you to last long. Just long enough for me to get inside your sweet core.”

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