Page 20 of No First Kisses

“I’ll take you to her now, although she might not wake up for a few hours.”

“What happened?” The question rips itself from my chest. “Do you know yet?”

“She had stress-induced cardiomyopathy,” the nurse says quietly as our families circle around us. “The doctor will tell you more about it in her room and give you a full update on the expectations of her condition.” She leads the way, and without looking back, I follow her.

“Google says that’s broken heart syndrome.” Evie’s pronouncement is the last thing I hear before the doors shut behind me.

The doors closing don’t do shit to keep me from knowing that it’s all my fault.

I didn’t break her heart, literally.

But I know that I caused her stress. Keep causing her stress. Even if I don’t want to.

The nurse leads me into the room, and I move immediately to Poppy’s side.

Her red hair stands out against the white sheets of the hospital bed, and I can’t help brushing an errant curl out of her face before I take her hand in mine.

When the man I walked by on my way in clears his throat to get my attention, I turn an annoyed glare at him.

“What?”

The doctor, whose badge I can’t see, just watches me with patience I definitely am not feeling.

“Poppy suffered from stress-induced cardiomyopathy. It’s a temporary heart condition that is caused by stress. It’s also known as broken heart syndrome.”

Exactly what Evie Googled right before I walked out of the waiting room.

Hearing him put words to what happened causes a jolt of pain to go from my neck down into my chest, landing in the empty space where my heart should be. But I don’t interrupt him. Not when he is telling me everything I need to know about Poppy’s pain. About her suffering.

“It’s rare to see a case move into the extremes as quickly as it did with her, but from the descriptions that the paramedics provided, she may have had symptoms earlier in the day that she didn’t treat or even understand.”

Poppy takes a deep breath, drawing my attention away from the doctor. But her eyes are still closed, and she sleeps restlessly. Instead of keeping my other hand at my side, where I’ve had it clenched to keep from touching her, I reach out and touch her, sitting right next to her bed so that I can keep both hands on her at the same time.

“Unfortunately, there’s no treatment for broken heart syndrome. Usually, I would prescribe some medication while she’s recovering here in the hospital, but I think the best option is bed rest.”

His eyes are locked on Poppy’s chart in his hand, and there is something in the way his eyes flash that has me questioning everything in that moment.

“Why?”

When he watches me with a question in his eye and doesn’t give me an answer, I cough to clear the hesitation out of my throat.

“Why can’t you medicate her while she’s here?”

“Because of the baby.” The doctor keeps perusing her chart like he hasn’t just dropped a bomb on my entire life.

Poppy’s fingers clench around mine. “Baby?” she whispers hoarsely. “Who’s having a baby?”

The doctor’s eyes flash with something close to regret as he looks between the two of us. “I’m sorry, I thought you already knew. You are.”

Poppy tries to pull her hand out of mine, but I don’t let go. I can’t.

Not when the doctor has given me everything that I’ve ever wanted, without even knowing.

And then Poppy starts crying.

“I’m so sorry.” Her sobs break my heart, and her tears shred every single one of my nerves into pieces. “Lo. I swear I didn’t know, and I’m so sorry.”

“Hey.” I get up, shifting so that her eyes are locked on mine. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You weren’t alone in that bed. Or in the shower. Or any of the other places.” I lower my voice, trying to get her to smile. She doesn’t. Instead, I brush the tears from her eyes and kiss her forehead as gently as I can. “You need to stop crying, sweet girl. I don’t want you adding any more stress to your heart, do you understand?”

---