Page 17 of No First Kisses

6

LOGAN

The only thing worse than watching the love of my life die when I was eighteen years old, is watching her collapse and almost die in my arms when I’m a grown-ass man. And I still can’t do anything about it.

Andrea is on the phone with 9-1-1 before I even realize what is happening. Evie races to her car, searching for Poppy’s bag.

“Where the hell is it?” she screams at the back of my head, but I don’t stop breathing for Poppy.

One breath into my lungs, the next into hers.

Over and over.

“Her inhaler.” Evie shoves it into my hands, and I pause only long enough to try and get her to take some of the medication into her lungs, but nothing changes.

Doing the only thing I can, I go back to breathing for her.

Please. Please don’t leave me.

Silently, and to a higher power that I’m not even sure I believe in, I pray.

Don’t let her die. I can’t lose her again.

Our parents stand, watching and talking to 9-1-1, but they don’t try to push me away.

Still, I breathe for her.

First five minutes, and then ten.

The entire time, Poppy’s fear-filled eyes are locked on mine. I feel her pulse racing, and I watch as she can’t hide her feelings anymore.

The ones she turns away from me in the dark of night to keep me from seeing.

I swear if you keep her alive, I will fix this.

“I love you,” I whisper against her lips right before I breathe into her lungs. “Never stopped. Never will.”

I tell her everything between those agonizing breaths.

All the secrets that I’ve kept locked away for a decade. With every breath I take, counting the seconds until I push more air into her lungs.

All of the dreams that I have for our life together.

Anything I can to keep her calm.

“Stay with me, Poppy.”

Another breath.

“I’ll do anything you want, baby. Just don’t give up.”

Tears clog my voice, and her eyes shut, but I don’t stop. I’ll never stop.

“I’m not giving up. So you can’t give up.”

In silence, I keep breathing for her, refusing to move when Finn tries to help.

“I love you, Poppy. And you need to fight, because I will fix this.”

---