Page 70 of No Sweet Goodbyes

She rocks back on her heels and stares at me with a strange expression on her face. “Does that mean you don’t want me to read them?”

In my entire life, I’ve never suffered from flop sweat. I’ve run countless missions, trained with men who could snap me like a twig, and not a single moment before now has ever scared me like this. Not until the moment that she puts me on the spot and I’m forced to face the truth.

Emma has the power to destroy me.

“If you read them… start with this one.” I pull the last letter from my pocket, a tiny square of paper from how many times I folded it to make it fit. “This is the last one I wrote.”

“You don’t want me to start at the beginning?”

“No.” I shake my head.

She reaches out and takes the dirt-stained piece of paper. “Okay. Come on, then.”

I don’t move, don’t want to breathe. “What?”

“You heard me.” Emma snaps her fingers together. “You said no one knew you were home, which means your house won’t have food. Either that or your sister is probably still living there. You can sleep in the guest room, and if I need to kill you after reading these, I won’t have to drive across Birch Harbor to get to you.”

I’ve never been so excited or afraid of anything at the same time as I am to watch Emma read the letters that I wrote for her.

When I wrote them, I honestly thought she’d burn them and I wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Knowing she hasn’t… it fans the flames of hope that have already started in my chest. There is only one thing I need.

“I’ll meet you there.”

Her eyes flash, and for a moment I think she’ll change her mind. She stares at me, waiting for an explanation.

“I’m going to stop by my parents’ house and get my house keys,” I tell her. “I know Vi has a key, but I left Mama with everything I need. And honestly, I don’t want to have to drive over there in the middle of the night if you kick me out after reading those letters.” There’s a little bit of humor there, but the truth is there too. I don’t know where I stand, and I don’t want to make any assumptions when it comes to Emma.

“Do… do you want me to go with you?” Her question, hesitant and unsure, adds to the pain and guilt that I have over how things ended.

“You don’t have to do that.” I close my eyes for a second. “I have to apologize to them, Emma. Did you see the way they wouldn’t speak to me at dinner?” When she nods, I scratch my neck and tell her the rest. “I didn’t call them or talk to them while I was overseas. They’re pissed, and I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire. If it’s okay, I’ll go see them and then meet you at your place?”

She’s going to say no. I can feel it.

She’ll say no, and I’ll be left as nothing more than a miserable husk of who I used to be.

This is why I never should have given in to the temptation of claiming her.

“Okay.” She looks down at the paper in her hand, her eyebrows furrowed. “But if you don’t show up?—”

I cut her off, doing something completely stupid. “I’ll be there.” Before I can stop myself, I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. “I promise.”

24

EMMA

I think Dom was lying to me again. After I get home, I take a shower and shave, because I’m not an idiot and I won’t be caught dead with over a month’s worth of hair on my legs.

Once I’ve changed into pajamas and brushed out my hair, I go through the mail and find every single letter that had been delivered while he was overseas. Then I just sit on my couch and wait for Dom to show up.

An hour later, he still isn’t there and I’m ready to turn off the lights and just go to bed, because obviously I’ve been mistaken.

And he lied to me again.

I look at my phone, thinking that he would have called or at least sent me a text if something delayed him and am hit with a wave of anxiety.

It’s not like I was actively trying to forget about him while he was gone. I had a job to do, and training. And I’m not the bad person in this situation. Hell, he came home and I gave him the chance to explain himself, which is honestly more than he deserves.

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