Page 61 of No Sweet Goodbyes

“Sir.”

He stares at me for a second and then sighs. I watch him cross the room and pick up a photo from his desk, holding it out for me to take. Reluctantly, I reach for it and almost drop the frame on the ground.

It is a familiar photo. Or similar at least.

My brothers, both of them, stand smiling at the camera. There is a photo almost exactly like it hanging on my parents’ wall in Birch Harbor. Except, the picture we have only features Danny and Linc. In the photo I hold in my hand, they are joined by the rest of their unit. I see Remy, Dom, Ian Keller, the Malone brothers, and Cadre Mays.

“I didn’t know that you knew Danny and Linc.”

“The Hayes Hurricanes?” He laughs quietly. “Yeah. I knew ’em. Loved ’em. Came home and became a law professor, and then Remy convinced me that I should teach at the academy, too. Here I am. Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“Sir.” I hand him back the picture, smiling at my brothers’ faces one last time. “Thank you for that.”

“Don’t thank me,” he says somberly. “It’s been years, but I’m sorry for your family’s loss, Hayes.”

“Thank you, sir.” The familiar statement rolls off my tongue like the funeral had only just happened. “He died doing what he loved.” Easy response, terrible emotions. But if he served with Danny, then he suffered the loss just as much as we did.

Cadre Mays snorts. “Not likely. But you get bonus points for the effort.” He pauses, setting the photo back down in its place on his desk. “I wanted to see if you’ve heard from Dom.”

I freeze, completely taken aback by the question. I’ve avoided any mention of him since I left him standing with his mother the day he deployed, which hasn’t been an easy task.

I’ve been dodging calls from my brother, his sisters and mother, and even my best friends. Everyone wants to know what happened and if I’ve forgiven him for not telling me what happened.

I haven’t.

There is a very real possibility that I will never forgive him. And I have no plans on ever giving him another chance, either.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice… shame on me.

“No.” I keep my reply short and to the point.

“That’s a shame,” Cadre Mays says while shaking his head. “Ortiz was the best counter-sniper we had in the unit. No one was surprised when he decided to stay in at the end of our tour. But the whole point of him staying Reserves was to avoid deploying. We’re all hoping he makes it home safe.” He studies my face. “You must be at the front of that line, though.”

I don’t give him a single emotion, using the mask I’ve perfected to keep my personal life just that… personal.

“You’re good,” he says with a smirk. “Go. Get some rest. There’s a long road ahead of you, and you already know I’m not taking it easy on you because of who your brothers are.”

He sure as shit isn’t. If anything, I think he pushes me harder than anyone else. More laps around the track. More sparring matches than anyone else. I was the first one to take the taser.

“But if you hear from Dom or find out how he is, I’d appreciate the heads-up.” He clears his throat. “I’m worried about him being over there with an entirely new unit who don’t know to have his back the way he needs. And he hasn’t answered anyone’s calls.”

Well, that sends a shard of dread through my heart and straight into my soul, but I keep the indifferent look on my face as well as I can.

“Please.”

I nod, unable to do anything else. I know what it’s like to worry. When it’s clear he isn’t going to say anything else, I take a hesitant step and walk the few feet to the office door where I find myself pausing with my hand resting on the handle.

“Sir,” I say quietly and wait for him to acknowledge me. His eyes seek mine, and I see the hope there. Hope that I can give him something, anything, about his friend. “He writes me. I know he’s okay because he sends the letters. I don’t read them, but he has to be okay because the letters keep coming.” It’s my turn to clear my throat, and I hide behind my fist while I cough, trying to get rid of the embarrassment of telling a complete stranger about Dom’s letters.

The letters I haven’t said anything about to anyone.

Cadre Mays stares at me for a long second, still studying the mask I wear like a shield, and finally nods, apparently satisfied with whatever he sees there. “Dismissed.”

I make it all the way back to my barracks room without falling apart.

Even with my chest heaving and the panic coursing through my veins, I don’t fall apart.

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