Page 59 of No Sweet Goodbyes

Emma spins around, and the tears flow unchecked now. “I’m not the one leaving, Dom.” She lowers her voice when she realizes that she’s yelling on my parents’ front lawn. “You’re the one who lied. You’re the one leaving. I’m here, aren’t I?” She spins on her foot and almost falls on the dew-wet grass.

I catch her before she can hit the ground, relishing the way her body fits against mine, like she’s made for me. “I got you.”

At my words, she freezes in my arms and waits silently for me to let her go.

“Dominic?” Mama stands on the porch, watching me with a wary look. “Why are you in uniform? There are still three days until you’re supposed to leave. Did something change?”

Emma gasps quietly and turns to face me with even more hurt in her eyes. I didn’t think it was possible. “Did everyone know but me?” Her lip trembles, and I hate myself in that moment.

But those words weren’t just for me.

“¿Que dijo?” Mama’s voice rings out clearly. “Did Emma not know that you were leaving?”

When Emma shakes her head, my mother clasps her hand to her chest. “Dios mio.” She rushes down the steps and ignores me completely in favor of taking Emma into her arms, pulling her away from me. “My precious mija. I’m so sorry he didn’t tell you.” For me, there is only two very angry sets of eyes pointed in my direction.

Emma hiccups, her sob catching in her throat. “Do you need me here? Or can you take him to the airport? He said you’d take him.”

“Si, Emma.” Mama rubs her back gently, like she is soothing a scared little girl. “I can do it. I’m so sorry.”

“Good.” Emma sniffs and hugs my mother back before letting go and walking toward my truck. “Grab your bag, Dom. I’ll take your truck to work when I go in today, like I said.”

“Emma.” Her name is nothing more than a whispered prayer on my lips.

I have nothing left to say.

Nothing left to give her.

She already has my heart, my soul, everything I can possibly give her. And she doesn’t even know it. If I try to say the words, she’ll think I’m lying again. She’ll assume the worst, and she wouldn’t even be wrong for making the assumption.

I don’t bother trying.

I can see I’ve already lost her.

There’s no going back.

I get my bag, slinging it over my shoulder as she walks behind me and waits to make sure I have everything. Convinced she’ll leave without saying anything else, I stare at the back of her head.

“I know I fucked up, Emma,” I tell her, wanting to punch myself in the dick when I see her flinch. “But I will make it right. When I get home, you’ll see. I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. I meant every single word. Every single minute with you was the best in my entire life.”

She reaches for the door handle, pausing before she opens it, and I can see and feel the tension radiating off her in waves. When she turns around, it’s like I’m looking at a complete stranger.

“There’s nothing to fix, Dominic.” I watch the muscles in her throat convulse as she swallows and takes a deep breath. “You said it right when you told Chief Townsend after the first kiss. It was nothing. Good luck on your deployment. I hope you don’t die. Don’t call me when you get home.”

Emma climbs into my truck and turns over the engine and pulls away without looking back.

I know because I’m staring the entire time, hoping at first to see the brake lights. Then praying irrationally that she turns around or that I see her eyes in the rearview mirror. Anything. Anything at all that might tell me that she’s going to wait for me.

There’s nothing there.

No sign that Emma looked back whatsoever, and I don’t blame her.

It doesn’t matter how far I fly or what desert the Marine Corps drops me into. It doesn’t matter how many miles I travel from home. I will never be able to get the memory of Emma’s heart breaking in front of me out of my mind.

I don’t deserve to forget.

When I close my eyes, I see her tears.

When I should hear the roaring of the carrier’s engines as we take off, I hear Emma’s sobs. I can feel her pulling away and out of my reach.

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