Page 12 of No Sweet Goodbyes

My lips seek hers, and I swear fireworks explode all around us when they finally meet. Stars dance behind my closed lids, and I practically groan when she opens her mouth against mine.

Soft and supple, her kiss is everything I ever thought it would be and more. Her lips are a siren’s call in the flesh, commanding my presence and demanding my attention.

And I’m lost.

Until there’s nothing left for me to do but deepen the kiss by gently probing the seam of her lips with my tongue.

Shocked doesn’t even begin to cover my emotions when I hear a small moan, followed closely by her opening for me.

Our tongues dance together the same way our bodies moved only minutes before. When her hands grab my shirt and twist, locking me against her, I smile and practically lift her off her feet in my excitement.

The moment comes crashing to a halt, however, when the back door swings open and crashes against the side of Emma’s house.

“Emma,” a small and frightened voice calls out. “Emma, I had a bad dream.”

Just like that, Emma pushes away and practically runs up the steps. A small girl, who looks more like Emma’s daughter than her neighbor, throws herself into Emma’s arms and starts to sob quietly.

Cautiously, I follow her up the stairs to the back porch to assess the situation.

“I know you.” The little girl cocks her head to the side, almost knocking into Emma’s forehead while she stares at me. “You’re the police officer who comes to my school sometimes with Officer Townsend and Daisy.”

I don’t recognize her, but she’s right. I do spend a lot of time at Birch Elementary School. All the officers do, especially after the last few years have wreaked havoc on our small town. Plus, it’s a great way to rack up the overtime, which is good when I spend one weekend a month off duty for the Marine Corps and I have bills that need to be paid.

“Yeah,” I tell her with a hesitant smile, unsure of my place here and what’s about to happen to her. “I do spend time there. I’m surprised you know who I am, though. I’m not the one with the dog.” Most kids don’t care about anyone but Remy and his K-9 partner, Daisy.

Bianca—because who else would it be in Emma’s arms—shakes her head. “I’m allergic to dogs, so I can’t pet her when she’s allowed to play with us. I look at people instead.” Her eyes widen, and I see something there. Fear, mixed with something more, before she shoves herself further into Emma’s arms and lowers her voice, more fear there than there should be. “You didn’t tell him what I said, did you?” Clearly thinking that I won’t hear, I pretend that I haven’t and wait for Emma to answer.

“No,” Emma sniffs suddenly, and I can tell that she’s barely holding on to her emotions. “Bee, something bad happened, and he’s here to make sure that you’re okay tonight. That we’re both okay tonight.”

I should have taken over. I should have stepped up and told Bianca what happened to her parents. But in that moment, I completely freeze.

Emma, holding that little girl as they both fall apart, sends a thought into my mind that I’ll never be able to get rid of. And as Emma opens her mouth, she isn’t just talking to Bianca anymore. No. She’s holding a little girl who has her mother’s eyes and my complexion. Instead of watching Emma tell a little girl that her mother and father are gone, I see Emma… telling our child that I’m never coming home.

And it destroys me.

The kiss.

Every reason I’ve stayed away from her comes flying back in my face and I know.

The kiss was a mistake.

I can’t ask her to wait for me.

She’d be the woman waiting, knowing the terrible things that could happen, and her heart would stutter in her chest with every phone call. With every knock on the door, Emma would think that I was lost.

I can’t fall in love with her.

She’s the type of woman whom you never walk away from. The woman who doesn’t need to be brought home to Mama, because she’s already there. Already burrowed so deep in my life that with one kiss, I know I’m already gone. Already wishing I could turn back time and do it again, even if it’s a mistake.

I can’t let her lose me. Not after everything she went through when her brother died.

I can’t ask her to go through that again.

Emma wouldn’t forgive me, or the world around her, for putting her through that kind of wait, that kind of pain.

I can’t have her.

Not yet.

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