Page 28 of No Second Chances

Screams echoed in the open air. Gunfire not long behind. Shots fired all around me, but I couldn’t do anything except stare at Danny’s body. Not until I felt the hot metal of my rifle burning into the skin on my body through the pain of losing my brother. Constant and comforting, I knew I had to do something.

With one last look at Danny, I was off the ground, rifle in hand, running into war.

Body after body fell, friend and enemy alike, until I couldn’t breathe without feeling blood coating my mouth, mixed with the bitter taste of bile and regret.

Danny’s smile, grotesque and bloody, stayed in my mind’s eye until it started to shift. Blond hair turned red, and blue eyes turned brown, until I wasn’t looking at my brother anymore. No. I was looking at Kennedy’s lifeless body, and every remaining part of my soul died.

Gasping for air, I catch my hand in the chain around my neck. The dog tag and the ring. The one from Kennedy. The only thing that brings me peace.

Breathe, Linc.

Like she stands right next to me, whispering in my ear, bringing me back to myself, Kennedy’s voice is everywhere.

Over and over again, I take a breath like Kennedy’s phantom orders.

In. Out. Breathe, Linc. Come back to me.

The pleading in her voice catches me off guard. Kennedy doesn’t do that. Kennedy never did that. Still, I concentrate on breathing. On pulling air into my lungs and holding it until keeping it in burns. Until I finally come back to myself. Back to Maine. Back to the parking lot where I’ve been standing for who knows how long.

And with the return to my senses comes a migraine the likes of which I haven’t had in months. Excruciating pain hits the side of my head, blood pounding in my temple like a bugle during reveille, and there is no escaping it. Not until a pair of cold hands cradle either side of my head and my eyes snap open.

“There you are,” Kennedy says quietly with eyes the size of dinner plates. “You were gone for a second there.”

“Are you real?”

Slam. Slam. Slam.

The pounding in my head keeps a rapid pace, and my chest throbs with the force of my heart pumping blood through my body, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the woman in front of me. My own guardian angel.

She tilts her head to the side, like she always does in my dreams, and any second she will break out in a smile. Right before I wake up alone and miserable.

Instead, her eyebrows furrow while she stares up at me with concern, and a slight breeze picks up, blowing hair across her face.

“Linc… Are you okay?”

Her voice rolls over me, hitting every single nerve I have. I’m not dreaming. I’m not hallucinating.

Kennedy sees me in the middle of an attack.

Panic courses through my veins, mixing with the adrenaline, making everything worse. My lungs decide it is a great time to join my heart in acting up, because I can’t breathe. I can’t focus. I can’t do anything except stare at the woman I love, unable to say a thing. My mouth goes dry, like it is covered in glue, and I can’t move my tongue to form words.

She stares at me, understanding dawning in the eyes I only ever see in my dreams. Her mouth puckers and she purses her lips while I can see the wheels turning in her head.

“Ken—”

She holds up a hand, her eyes flashing with unspoken danger. “No. Don’t say a fucking word, Lincoln Hayes.”

The sudden change in her tone and posture have me on edge, but I don’t move. Don’t try and say anything else. I owe her that much.

“If you’re going to tell me that you stayed away from me for the past six years because of what I just saw, I’m going to gut you myself and feed you to the bear that lives behind my house in the summer.”

When I don’t say anything, don’t give her an answer to her question, her upper lip lifts in a silent snarl. But she must think better of whatever she is going to say, because she closes her mouth and bites her lip.

“Kennedy.” My throat burns as I force out the words. “You don’t understand. I can’t be with you like this. Not and give you any type of happiness.”

Pouring my heart out in the middle of the parking lot like that isn’t my first choice, but it’s not like I can stop once I start.

“Fuck that.” Her words break. “Fuck that, Linc.”

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