Page 15 of No Second Chances

Kennedy.

Sweat dots my brow, and tears streak down my cheeks when I finally come back to myself. When reality finally beats back the terror and trauma from being overseas. Rolling to the side, I clamber for the bathroom and barely make it before I throw up everything I’ve eaten and then continue to retch until there is nothing left. Once I finish, I flush the toilet and lean my head against the wall behind me.

“Fuck my life.”

I would rather die a thousand deaths than drag Kennedy into the hell that has become my life. No matter how much I crave her touch or the fact that my heart stutters every single time I see her smile. I came back from overseas beyond damaged. Broken.

I may love her more than my next breath, but Kennedy should never be mine.

7

KENNEDY

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” Double-checking to make sure that the 911 caller has already hung up, I stare over one of the five computer monitors at Maya, my boss and director of Birch County RCC.

Maya smiles brightly in response, despite the fact that we’ve been working for a solid twelve hours together, answering emergency calls and handling everything else that dispatching involves. “Sometimes I forget what it’s like to sit in dispatch,” she says. “I miss it.”

“I don’t.” I’m already thinking about tacos, in fact. Three days one week and four the next, I get off shift and immediately go to Lucy’s, where there will already be a taco platter waiting for me.

The digital clock on my computer says I only have about five minutes before my replacement clocks in, and I literally start counting the seconds until I’ll see Nikki’s truck pull into the parking lot on the security cameras.

“I just wish I could find a dispatcher that wouldn’t wash out in training,” Maya says bluntly. “I know it takes a special breed of person to dispatch, but we’ve gone through four since Teri left for BPD.” She huffs and then glares at me over her screen. “You better not abandon me for them.”

I would have given her some sort of snarky answer, but Nikki’s truck pulls into the parking lot just then.

“At least you’ve got Nikki now,” I tell her. “She started as a deputy’s wife, right?”

Maya’s face shutters, her eyes flashing with a darkness that I hadn’t quite expected. “Yep.” She coughs. “Dustin. Before he died.” She sniffs. “She’s a good one.” Her smile returns. “Nikki definitely understands the stuff a dispatcher needs to be made of.”

While I wait for Nikki to come into the building and relieve me, I grab all my stuff and make sure that my trash is disposed of. Twelve hours in one place is a lot, especially since our desks are our home away from home.

Nikki walks in with a smile on her face and a bag full of food that smells delicious. My stomach growls in response.

Yep. Time for tacos. Tacos, and maybe a stiff drink that will help me forget the fact that I’m miserable in my life.

“I’m outta here,” I say while waving on my way out.

In the parking lot, I see a familiar truck, with the man of my dreams sitting in the driver’s seat. Linc stares down at his phone with a grimace, and curiosity almost kills the cat. Instead of walking over and tapping the glass on his window like I want to, I get in my car and leave.

Even if my chest aches as I go. Absently, I rub the scars on my left wrist while I clutch the steering wheel.

The ridges serve as a reminder of everything I’ve already lost in my life. All the things I’ve done and suffered that led to my current life.

“Breathe. Just breathe.” My heart keeps beating, even though the anxiety in my veins says that I’m having a heart attack. “You’re fine.”

Lucy’s, thankfully, is only down the road from the sheriff’s office, and I make it into the parking lot before the onslaught of memories hit me like a wrecking ball.

Cheap cologne and bad music fill my senses, blinding me to reality and leaving me lost in the past.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I open my eyes, expecting to be stuck in a living nightmare, and see Parker standing next to my car with Nox at her side.

“Come on, Auntie,” he calls out loudly. “It’s taco time. Mom said I’m going to your house after you’re done and that we’re gonna spend the weekend together.” His face is pressed right up to the window, and he blows his lips on the glass, letting his cheeks swell out and it sounds like he is farting.

Parker stares at me with an apologetic smile on her face. “Sorry.” Even through the closed window, I hear her.

With a shrug, I open the door and put on my best smile. The one I reserve for Nox, and Nox alone.

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