Page 64 of No Broken Promises

I watch his hesitating steps as he moves toward the couch and stares at me while he tries to fit the pieces together. My breath catches while I twist the bracelet on my wrist for comfort. Then I smile when I see Remy’s eyes dart to the faded piece of thread before fingering the matching one he wears.

To get to the couch, Remy has to walk right by me, and I reach out for his hand instinctively. For a flicker of a moment, I think maybe he’ll pull away from me, the way I have from him, and my heart aches painfully. Until he steps into my space and cups my face gently in his hands.

“Whatever you’re struggling with, whatever you’re trying to tell me, I’m here for it. I love you, Parker Jane, and as long as you’re not walking out the door on me in the middle of the night to leave Birch Harbor forever, I’ll be here. Hell, I’ll still be here even if you do pack up and leave. You’d take my fuckin’ heart with you, but I’d let you go. For about an hour, until I follow you. I’ll follow you anywhere.”

I watch his throat move as he swallows hard, and I press my lips together while I think about what has to come next.

He nudges my chin until I look up and see the love shining in his eyes. My heart races, and my chest begins to hurt like a vise has wrapped around my body, squeezing until the pain is almost unbearable. I must not do a good job hiding it because his furrowed brow appears a moment later, then he rests it against my forehead.

He lowers his voice, speaking as if he were praying. “Just tell me.”

My hands are clutching his forearms, and I don’t remember moving them, but the support he offers is the only thing keeping me on my feet.

“It’s going to change everything,” I admit. “I’m afraid.” Afraid is the understatement of the century. I am horrified, more than ready to run away from my problems than face them. It scares me so much I don’t want to even think about what may happen between us.

“Trust me.” His breath mixes with mine, and the emotion of the moment catches me off guard.

I started the night with much different expectations than where we are at, and I can’t even concentrate on anything but Remy’s smell. Or his touch. Or the way he feels against my body as he holds me.

I trust him. He may very well be the only person I do trust.

Time to put your money where your mouth is.

“That night…” I take a deep breath and keep going, even though Remy freezes. “That night. I didn’t sleep with Danny to hurt you. I know you think I did. I didn’t love him, and I don’t think he loved me either.”

“He did,” Remy interrupts with an insistent whisper. “He loved you.”

I shake my head, ignoring the thoughts that come with his words, the memories I’ll never be able to get rid of.

Pushing the lie away so that I can face the truth.

“I don’t care what happened between you. I don’t care if you loved him, if you screwed him for revenge, any of it. I don’t care that you picked him.”

“I didn’t pick him,” I blurt as I pull out of Remy’s grasp.

Shock and confusion line his face as I step back, pulling away from him. Until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the couch and I sit down with a small sigh.

“We went back to their house and broke into Rose’s vodka from their trip to Mexico. We were drunk, Remy, and that’s no excuse. But by the time I told him to stop, it was too late. He was too far gone to listen to me.”

I put my head in my hands, too ashamed to look up at him. Too distraught at the idea that he’ll know my biggest regret.

“I didn’t stop him,” I whisper brokenly. “Because I was caught up in the moment and for a minute, I thought it was you with me. But it wasn’t you. It was Danny.” The tears I haven’t yet cried start to stream out of my closed eyes in rivulets that I didn’t think were possible.

My eyes are clenched so tightly and my heart pounds so loudly in my ears that I don’t hear Remy move until he is pulling my hands away from my face.

“Parker.” His soft voice filters past the tears and into my mind. “Parker, you didn’t do anything wrong.” There is a steely undertone to his voice, a silent rage that I’ve never heard before, and I can’t figure out why. Why would he be so mad at me for telling him the truth?

“I swear, if Danny wasn’t dead, I’d rip his fucking heart out of his chest and make him eat it,” he growls.

I open my eyes in shock, unable to see Remy’s face clearly through my veil of tears.

“Parker, you told him to stop. It doesn’t matter how much he’d had to drink. Or how much you’d had to drink. When you say ‘no,’ there’s no pushing that aside.”

He rocks back on his heels, holding on to my hands like they are his only lifeline.

“Fuck, Parker. All this time, you’ve held on to his secret. Why? You don’t owe him anything. You never did.”

I sniffle, hiccupping when my nose finally feels clear. “I didn’t tell him to stop until it was too late to stop.” But those words feel wrong now. Just a fading excuse to cover the horror of that night.

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