Page 52 of No Broken Promises

“Stryker didn’t know anything about us, and he spoke out of turn. He’s been handled, and you can expect him to grovel for the next fifty years, if that’s what you want him to do.”

Sniffling with tears clogging my vision, I nod. Although fifty years feels like it may be letting him off a little too easy. Remy isn’t done talking, though, and he keeps going after a quick kiss to the tip of my nose.

“I hurt you on purpose, Parker. I was stupid and a child instead of the man I was pretending to be. I didn’t understand what love was or the effect that you’d have on me for the rest of my life. I hurt you, and I’m sorry. For everything it caused.” His eyes are rimmed with red, his face a bleak mask, and his mouth is frozen in a harsh frown. “All I ever wanted to do was keep you from wasting your life on me, making you hate me, and losing you forever. I destroyed everything that could have been us in the process.”

I close my eyes, unable to look at him without saying anything. Unable to face my reality. But as I close my eyes, I find myself replaying that night. That exact moment.

The party was over. At least for me. Music faded, coming from a few houses down, but I left as soon as I saw the stupidity start up. Sitting in the backyard of Remy’s parents’ house, pushing the swing with my toes barely touching the ground, I closed my eyes and leaned against the metal rungs and took a deep breath.

In and out.

Again.

In and out.

Maybe Remy didn’t mean it.

Maybe he was scared.

Still, his words echoed in my mind. “I don’t want to be with you.” Over and over again, they hurt. But I knew he was lying. I didn’t imagine or hallucinate our connection. It was real.

“What are you doing here?”

That voice.

When I didn’t turn around, Remy plopped down in the swing next to me and grabbed the rungs right above my hand, forcing my swing to stop, and I carefully opened my eyes to look at him, not bothering to hide my pain.

“You shouldn’t be here, Parker.”

“Shut up, Remington,” I snapped, loving the way I got to use his nickname. The one he hated more than anything. “I’m not here for you.”

Breaking the connection between our eyes, I leaned back and stared up at the sky.

“I didn’t want to go back to my aunt and uncle’s house in the middle of the night. I talked to Danny and Linc, and I’m going to sleep over at their house.”

A strange noise, almost like a growl, escaped from next to me even as I refused to look back at him.

“That’s not my name, Parker Jane.”

He knew I hated my middle name and insisted on using it every chance he got. Especially when I called him Remington.

Silence stretched between us, and I knew I should get up and walk away. But I couldn’t. Not when he’d been gone for so long, and he’d be gone again soon. Instead, I fingered the edge of my dress, a stupid whim that I’d worn so that Remy would finally see me.

“I don’t want to be like this,” I told him bluntly. “I don’t want to miss out on this or regret us not giving it a chance. Whatever happens, I know that I want you.”

“I don’t want you wasting your life over me.” His words came out harsh, biting into my skin worse than the chill in the air.

“I don’t believe you.” I didn’t, either.

“You’re wrong, Parker.” He forced my chin up so that my eyes had to meet his. I hadn’t even realized that he’d moved from my side. His eyes were locked on mine, and they were dull. Lifeless, even. “I don’t want you. I told you that we couldn’t be anything more than friends… and you never believed me. I tried to let you down easy, and you didn’t fucking listen. I’m not a good man. You’re not meant for me, and we both know it. I’m poison, Parker. I will infect every single part of your life, devouring everything in my way. Anything you give me. And I’ll walk away smiling after it’s done. I don’t want you waiting for me in this town, crying every time I re-enlist, hoping I survive overseas. I don’t want to be the reason you throw away your life and dreams, and I hate the fact that you look at me like you do. Get it through your head, and do both of us a favor… walk away, Parker Jane.”

I failed.

How could he think such bad things about himself? Didn’t he see he was all I’d ever wanted in my entire life?

I started crying somewhere along the way, but my tears had no effect on him. He just kept going. When I tried to pull my chin away, to get away from him, Remy’s grip became painful and he squeezed even harder. “I don’t deserve you, Parker Jane Findlay. I don’t deserve you, and I never want to see you crying over me again.”

Rustling behind us distracted him, and I pulled myself from his grip, just in time for him to step back. The gate to the backyard opened and a shadowy figure stepped into the yard. I didn’t even care who it was. I just wanted to get away from Remy and never see him again.

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