Page 29 of No Broken Promises

Benton gives me a half smile and then shakes his head like he is clearing a thought. “You’re gorgeous, Parker. You make me smile in a way that not many women can, without even trying. But I can read people, and from the second I met you, I knew that you weren’t mine.”

As I am getting into my car to head home, Benton waves at me through the window. It takes every bit of strength I have to put a smile on my face and peel my hand away from the steering wheel to wave back.

The entire night, I should have been able to concentrate on moving forward, but all I could think about was Remy.

He ruined my night without even trying.

12

REMY

The clock behind my head strikes midnight, and I still stare at the unopened shoebox full of letters in my hands. I’ve sat there for an hour or more, after seeing Parker at the restaurant on her date and almost ruining it.

A date.

What was I thinking, sending her a drink like that? Then, before I made a complete ass out of myself, I did the right thing and left so that she didn’t know it was me.

But a date?

Parker being ready to date, and after everything I’ve learned from Linc’s mistake with my little sister?

Maybe… Maybe I should tell Parker how I feel.

Running a hand across the back of my neck, I struggle with my chest tightening as I prepare to open the box and delve into a time of my life that I’d rather forget.

Thankfully I am alone, because as I lift the lid of the old shoebox, my hands are trembling. Fucking trembling. That’s what Parker does to me. It's what she’s always done to me. And like a fool, I have kept every single memento of hers, even down to the bracelet that I haven’t taken off since she sent it overseas for me.

As my thoughts drift to it, I lower my eyes to the dirty and faded blue bracelet. The one I’d gotten in her very first letter. The same one I’d left in her room after I pulled the ultimate stalker move, breaking into her house before I deployed and our lives changed forever. After Danny told me she was pregnant and they were getting married.

“Fucking fuck,” I mutter. I shouldn’t have worn it. I never should have taken it out of the box. I know she saw it. Her eyes devoured me while I stood at that table, and not in a good way. How could she have missed it?

The letter. The very first letter I got overseas stares at me from the top of the pile. I labeled them, every single time I got one, so that I’d know. In the corner, the faded black number 1 dares me to open it. Challenges me to face those demons. It is the first letter she sent me after I broke her heart and destroyed our friendship.

Dear Remy,

I don’t know how this got to my house, but I thought you should have it. It’s your lucky charm, after all. Thank you for coming to the wedding. It means a lot. To me. We should talk when you get a chance. I don’t like how things were left. There are things you need to know, but I don’t know how to tell you. I hope you don’t die over there. You’re still my best friend, even if you hate me.

Yours,

Parker

I had ignored her then. And every letter she wrote me after that. I refold her letter and place it carefully back in its envelope, only to pull another letter Parker sent out of the stack, this one labeled 25.

There are twenty-seven different letters, and I’d ignored every single one of them. Starting with our first week overseas and ending with the month after Danny died. Technically, the last letter wasn’t sent until after I’d been redeployed. And that one, I never let out of my sight, even after getting home. It’d never made it into the box.

Dear Remy,

I’m so alone surrounded by family and friends.

Please… Tell me it gets easier. Tell me that I’m not alone.

Parker

Daisy shoves her nose into my lap at that moment, and a flicker of panic overcomes me. She isn’t trying to be her usual asshole self, though, and I have the distinct impression that she is mourning what could have been, just like I am. After all, she’s lost just as much as I have.

“It’s okay, girl,” I whisper, rubbing her behind the ears. “Everything is going to be okay.”

I fucked up with Parker. I know it. But I also know that Benton Mays doesn’t deserve her. I know him, served with him, and even if he is damned near perfect, he still isn’t good enough. No one deserves Parker, least of all me. Yet, there isn’t a chance in hell that I’ll let her spend her life with him.

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