Page 64 of Curses & Kitsune

I’m on my feet in seconds, fueled by a determination that makes my heart gallop. “Keep your advice,” I snap. “I don’t want it. Look at you!” I motion around this piece of shit cabin as empty, cold, and miserable as the life he’s led. I see myself in him, alone, bitter, and closed off from the world. God. I could end up just like my father. The very idea fucking terrifies me. I don’t want to be that person. This cycle of pain and trauma will keep on turning unless I shatter the damn wheel myself.

He sneers. “You think you’re so much better than me? I see those tattoos. You’re a thug, boy. Like father like son.”

“No,” I snarl. “I will never be like you. These tattoos are my past, but they’re not my future. I’m going to make a life for myself. A good life. A normal life. I won’t be a fucking failure like you. I won’t end up alone. I have someone who loves me, really loves me, and I will not hurt him like you hurt my mother. I’ll be happy. I’ll be so happy, just to fucking throw it in your face!” I’m panting by the time I finish talking, shaking violently as years of pent-up anger surge from me. I almost feel… lighter? Like this great weight’s been lifted off of my back. It feels like freedom.

I’m done letting the pain of the past define me. I’m going to live in the present with my mate—after I’ve got down on my knees and begged for his forgiveness, that is. I turn my back on the man who’s haunted my life since I was eight and walk out of that wretched cabin.

The sun’s going down when Osaka comes into view, glittering like diamonds off the windows. My heart beats faster, and my wolf howls for our mate. Fuck. My poor sunshine. I could hit myself for being such a coward. I’ve got to fix things between us. Our bond is strained, but it’s still wrapped around my heart.

I’m done denying how I feel for him, and I'm done running from us. I want a future with Jinta by my side. I want to be free of the yakuza, to be the man he deserves—so I’m going to damn well do it. Fear starts to rise in me, a roaring tide of what-ifs, but I focus on our bond and breathe through it.

Love is scary. Scarier than a bullet fired from a dark alley or the flash of fangs as a wolf lunges at you. But Jinta is worth it, all of it. I just wish I’d realized this sooner.

My phone buzzes from the dashboard, propped up so I can follow the GPS. It’s a text from Jinta. My heart gallops. Is it possible he wants to talk about our fight? Looking both ways, I pull over into the grass and grab my phone. Please, give me a second chance, please…

Jinta: I’m sorry about what I said earlier. Can we talk at the hotel? I hope you found your dad.

He’s sorry. He wants to talk. Thank god. I didn’t ruin things between us after all. How did I hit the jackpot with such a sweet mate? I don’t deserve him. My fingers fly over the keyboard as I type.

I’m sorry, too. I’ll be there soon.

Jinta: Ok!! See you soon. Love you so much.

He loves me. Jinta loves me. Despite all my flaws, all my insecurities and my baggage, this man has decided I’m his person. For the first time, those words don’t fill me with dread, but with such relief it makes my eyes burn.

I love him, too. I love Jinta Onodera.

He’s my person. The man who’s made me believe in love when all my life, I thought love wasn’t real. But it is real. I love Jinta, he loves me, and we’re going to be together. I slump over the wheel and break down, laughing in sheer relief until my eyes are damp.

My phone rings, jolting me from my happy meltdown.

Fuck. It’s Ren. In all the chaos and heartbreak of this morning, I forgot to check in with her. Guess I’m a shitty friend, as well as a shitty boyfriend. I swipe to answer, keeping my eyes on the road and hands on the wheel.

“Everything okay?” I ask.

She’s panting and takes a few seconds to answer me. “No. Remember my stalker? It was Ishida. He broke into my home last night. He and some friends of his made me come with them. I only just managed to get away.”

My blood begins to boil. “Did he hurt you?”

“Don’t worry about me! Listen, Ishida took some of my blood. I’m worried he took it to Charlie so he could figure out your location. This was hours ago! That’s long enough for him to trace your location, jump on a flight to Osaka, and plan an ambush!”

A pit opens up in my stomach, sucking in all the remnants of my joy like a blackhole. Ishida is here in Osaka, and he knows where we are. Foot throttling the gas, I hurtle up the freeway. Charlie’s magic is precise, so the tracing spell would lead Ishida right to our hotel. Fuck!

“I’ve gotta go, Ren! Call Jinta, tell him to stay the fuck away from the hotel!”

Fear wraps around my lungs and squeezes, choking me.

Jinta. No. Fuck. No.

Ishida hates me for what happened to his brother. If he finds Jinta in the hotel, it won’t matter if it’s not me in his place. He’ll kill Jinta to hurt me the way he was hurt. Jinta could die, and I’m not there to protect him!

Please be okay. Please. I can’t. Nothing can happen to Jinta. My love. My mate. My destiny.

I drive fast, and for the first time, I pray to every god I know to protect my mate or let me take his place in death.

Chapter 23

Jinta doesn’t answer any of my calls. Or maybe he can’t. My heart won’t settle, beating out of my chest for my mate. I drive fast, dangerously so, but my preternatural reflexes help me weave in and out of traffic. Ignoring the angry honks of the other drivers, I don’t let up until I’ve crossed into the city.

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