Page 56 of Curses & Kitsune

Raiden murmurs, “Let’s go. I’ll drive you back to the hotel.”

But I can’t even move as he turns his back and walks away from me. It feels like I’m fifteen again, telling my parents I won’t be who they want, watching my mother cry and my father rage. I’m there again as Mom tells me Katsuki’s been promoted with all the pride she never showed me. I’m there, watching Takahiro cheat on me with my brother. I’m tired of never being anyone’s first choice. Of being pushed away by the ones I care about and left behind. I’m so damn tired of never being enough.

“Forget it!” I shout. “I’ll walk.”

Raiden turns toward me but doesn’t speak, looking miserable and resigned.

I need to walk away before I give back as good as he gave me. Before I hurt him. But I’m torn open and bleeding, my head full of rage and my heart breaking. “Go on. What are you waiting for? Run away like you always do when the going gets rough. Like your father!”

That was a low blow, but I’m too distraught to care.

Raiden flinches, hands curling at his sides. He still doesn’t speak.

“I’m disappointed in you,” I croak. The same words my parents have thrown in my face my whole life. I thought throwing them back at someone else would fix something inside me, but it didn’t.

Wordlessly, Raiden turns away. The car door slams. The key turns in the ignition. Raiden drives away and leaves me in the pouring rain.

My chin quivers, and I break. My knees nearly give out as sobs rack my body, folding me in on myself with the force of my anguish. I can see it all so clearly now. I’m cursed, and so is Raiden. We’re cursed to be trapped in the pain of our pasts, unable to move forward, haunted by ghosts that we can’t escape.

I take a stumbling step, then another. There’s no goal in mind, no direction. I just walk, shuddering as rain soaks me to the bone. What can I do? Where can I go? Not back to the hotel. I don’t want to be alone. God. I’m so alone. There’s no one I can call, nobody I can confide in to ease my pain. Ren is miles away and busy leading the pack. My brother and I hate each other.

My parents. They wanted to speak to me, didn’t they? And for the first time in so long, I need them. I want to break down and let my mother hold me. Feel my father’s hand on my shoulder. I want them to tell me everything will be okay. I want my parents.

My phone’s in my hand and I wait, holding my breath.

“Jinta?” My mom’s voice makes my eyes burn.

“H-hey, Mom,” I say, a sob rising to my lips. “I’m in Osaka. Can I… can I come over?”

Chapter 20

Everything hurts. My head. My heart.

What have I done?

Rain pours down around the car. It feels like I’m lost in a storm, and I’ll never see the sun again. I pushed away the only good thing to ever happen to me. Who knows if he’ll ever forgive me. I hope he doesn’t. I’m not worthy of his forgiveness.

A pitiful sound escapes me as I slump over the wheel, needing something to hold myself up as my heart splinters in my chest. My wolf howls for our other half, for his mate, but I can’t go to him. This is for the best. Jinta is better off without me and all the danger I’ve brought into his life.

So why does it hurt so much? It’s like there are shards of glass in my lungs, in my heart. A shuddery exhalation rattles my chest and I wipe frantically at my eyes. I can’t fall apart. Not now. My father is out there, and I’ve got to find him and lift the curse on Jinta. After all the shit I’ve brought down on him, it’s the very least I can do. Then he can go far away from me and this life of mine, somewhere safe.

Fuck. It hurts just thinking about it, so I shove the thoughts down and drive. The city disappears behind me as rain sluices down the windows and floods the rice paddies in the fields around me. It takes me over an hour to drive from Osaka and into the wilds of Nara Prefecture. Kodai-ji Temple is closer than ever as I park the car at the base of the hiking trail that sprawls into the woods.

But my car isn’t the only one there. Three bulky vehicles are parked in the lot. The mud sucks at my feet as I go to investigate. All three cars are empty, but several sets of footprints lead away from the vehicles and into the woods. Their scents still linger in the air, and I take a breath, pulling them into my lungs.

Werewolves.

My heart sinks. Shit. The Horikoshi-gumi has figured out where my father is, and they’re somewhere in these woods. I’ve got to find my father before they do, or Jinta will never be cured. Rain pelts my skin as I take off into the woods, following the tracks embedded in the mud. With the dark clouds choking out the sun, the woods only get darker as the trees press in around me.

Shapes materialize ahead of me, and I lurch to a stop and take refuge behind a tree. Men in suits prowl the woods ahead of me, ten in total. I’m completely outnumbered, but they haven’t seen me yet, so I still have the advantage. I can’t afford to rush in. If I get in a rough spot, I don’t have anyone to back me up. I’ve got to stay low and quiet.

“Damn it,” one of them grumbles, bald head shiny with rain. “I hate this weather.”

“Quit complaining and keep your voice down,” another snaps. “That bastard is somewhere in these woods. You remember what his bitch said before we tore out her throat. Spread out and search everywhere! Look for the marks on the trees.”

My stomach twists. They must be referring to the woman my father ran off on our family with. They killed her. She didn’t deserve that. My father dragged her into this world of his, and she paid the price. Could that have been Jinta’s fate, as well? I made the right choice. Didn’t I? The yakuza forge on ahead into the trees, splitting off into groups of one or two at most. I’ve got to get ahead of them.

Using the trees as cover, I creep around the group, keeping low and quiet on the tips of my toes. One of the yakuza, some fucker with a goatee, slinks through the woods ahead of me, grumbling when sticks tug at his clothes. I lengthen my claws and prowl toward him. My wolf hungers for blood as I bear down on him, until I’m inches behind him. I lunge, slapping a hand over his mouth, muffling his yelp against my palm.

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