Page 43 of Curses & Kitsune

Ren grimaces. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Heaving a sigh, Raiden sets down his chopsticks. “Then I’ll have to go and speak to her. Who knows if she’ll even have any answers for us? This might be a waste of our time.”

“Or she’ll tell you how to find your father, and Jinta can be cured of the curse,” Ren adds.

Raiden dips his head in a reluctant nod. “Then I’ll leave tomorrow.”

My gut clenches. Is he going to invite me? I don’t like that he’s taking off without me. Old, ugly insecurities gnaw at me. I swallow hard around a sudden surge of nausea. “Thanks for the food.” I clear my plate though I’ve barely touched my food, and then escape into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

Tamano suddenly appears in the mirror, standing behind me.

“Finally!” She huffs. “I was wondering when your dull picture-perfect relationship would get interesting! I’ve always loved a good drama.”

I almost bite my toothbrush in half. Spiting with force into the sink, I quickly rinse my mouth. “Shut up, Tamano.” Maybe I should speak more politely to an ancient goddess, but I’m all out of fucks to give.

“I was starting to get jealous, you know,” she says, leaning back against the bathroom wall. “I honestly don’t understand why such a fine specimen is interested in the likes of you.”

“Keep insulting me and my relationship. It really makes me want to help you more,” I snap, leaning on the sink as my anger threatens to boil over.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?”

I grit my teeth. “About what?” I feign ignorance.

“That he’s straying. That you won’t be enough to convince him to leave this life behind.”

“Of course I won’t be enough.” What really bothers me is that it feels like he’s distant, like he’s… pushing me away. “Just because you’re bitter about being away from your mate doesn’t mean you get to mock our relationship.” I level a glare at her.

Tamano snaps her fan shut and looks away.

My fingers curl at my sides. I’m fucking tired. So sick of doubting if I’m enough for Raiden, doubting if I’m strong enough to control the kitsune, then hearing other people doubt our bond and my own capabilities. I’ve been looked down on my whole life, by my family, by my brother.

A nine-tailed fox jumps up onto the sink. Her tails wrap around her legs, and she lowers her head. “I’m… I’m sorry,” Tamano says, though it sounds like she’s swallowed poison. “You’re right, that was—it was cruel of me. I am a little jealous, I suppose. And it’s hard being away from my mate. I wouldn’t wish that upon you. If you’re truly concerned that he’s distancing himself from you, then you know what the solution is, right?”

I swing my head in a no.

She bristles and snaps her fangs. “Talk to him! Tell him how you feel. You can’t fuck away all of your problems!”

“I know, I know!” I chuckle. “Okay. I will. Thanks.” I ruffle her thick fur.

She turns away and glares at the wall, growling. “Men. I swear…”

The apartment is empty and quiet except for the gurgling of the dishwasher. It looks like Ren and Raiden have both gone to their rooms. However, as I pass by the balcony doors, Raiden’s shadow pools on the hardwood. He’s outside, powerful body framed by the light of a flickering streetlamp. Nerves flutter in my belly, so I take in a breath and ease open the glass door.

Raiden doesn’t react as I come to stand beside him. He stares off ahead, his face blank, body tense. My heart aches with the urge to reach out and touch him, but I feel like there’s a barrier between us that I can’t breach. Like he’d push me away if I tried. Holding my breath, I press my shoulder into his. Raiden stiffens, then his shoulders relax.

What will he say? Will he push me away?

Steeling myself, I push the words out. “I’m coming with you to Hiroshima.” It’s not a question. Raiden is stuck with me. I can’t let him meet the woman who abandoned him by himself. This must be hard enough on him already. “Or if you’d rather I didn’t, at least take Ren with you. You don’t need to do this alone.”

Raiden shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you here alone. Not after what happened this morning.”

Relief warms my heart. “So, you still want me around, huh?” I try and smile but it wobbles on my face. There’s a needy, insecure part of me that needs to hear him say it. Raiden’s breath hitches and wounded eyes find mine.

“Jinta,” he begins, voice gutted.

“I just… this morning, seeing you with Ishida, it—” Emotion thickens my throat, and I scratch awkwardly at my neck. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

Raiden looks down into the streets, dark and empty this late at night. “I was.” His confession is so soft I wouldn’t have heard it without my preternatural senses. “I hate that you saw me like that.”

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