Page 84 of Secrets & Sake

I reach in and lift the press I.D. with his name and face on it. Jinta Onodera.

Then, I see a photo of myself, a clipping from one of our magazines, a photograph of the Lotus, and a picture of a woman who sparks a familiarity within me.

“What’s your name?”

She leans in and whispers in my ear. “Himiko.”

Himiko. One of the women Namikawa forced me to abduct.

A pit opens up in my stomach.

Hiro wasn’t just investigating the Namikawa-kai.

He was investigating me. Investigating my involvement in the disappearances.

All this time, he was going to implicate me in the abductions and ruin my life.

I toss the photos back in the box, struggling to breathe as horror constricts my lungs. No. No, this can’t be true. Hiro wouldn’t have lied to me. He wouldn’t have used me. Hiro cares about me. He said it himself, and he saved my life when he could have just let me die. I didn’t imagine that. It was real.

But it’s happened to me before. Time and time again. I’ve let myself be hurt all of my life, by my parents, by Takada. Pain, abandonment, betrayal—it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve latched onto men who’ve shown me the barest hint of affection, and it’s backfired every single time.

Have I done it again?

Did I open my heart to someone for the first time in my life, only for him to use me?

“Why?” I croak.

Hiro lifts a hand and wipes his eyes, back still facing me. “I t-thought if I connected you to the disappearances, it would be the big break I was looking for. A front-page story.”

“You know I didn’t do it.”

He gives a stiff nod. “I do now. I wanted to please my family. Even after everything. But nothing I do will ever be enough. I’m done trying. I’ll always be a failure to them. My investigation is over. It’s done.” A soft sob escapes him. “We’re done.”

His words punch me in the chest. Pain like nothing I’ve felt before lashes my heart.

Hiro finally turns to face me, face wet and eyes anguished. “You deserve to know the truth. I’m everything my family said, and worse. I care about you, Raiden, but I… we can’t. I’ll never be what you need or who you deserve.”

“You are what I need!” I shout, my voice bouncing off the walls. “Don’t do this. Don’t let your brother ruin what we have.”

With shaking fingers, he yanks off the necklace I gave him.

“Don’t.” The word comes out cracked and broken. “Hiro, don’t do this.”

“This was going to happen anyway,” he chokes out. “Sooner or later, you’ll decide I’m not good enough, and you’ll leave.” He storms over, grabs my hand, and shoves the necklace into it. “Might as well j-just get it over with now.”

He might as well have just handed me the heart I entrusted to him, shattered to pieces.

When I was eight, I stopped believing in love and destiny.

My mother thought my father was her mate. My father swore my mother was his destiny. Then, he severed their bond and left, never to return. I watched as my mother’s heart broke, and she changed before my eyes into someone unrecognizable.

I thought I knew how a heart could break the day she put my father’s coin in my hand and shoved me at Namikawa. But now I know I didn’t know anything at all. Nothing’s ever hurt quite like this.

My wolf howls, Mate. Mine. Why?

“No,” I say, and the wolf pushes through. Fur sprouts. Fangs sharpen. “You’re mine, and I’m not letting you go.” I take one step toward him, then another.

Hiro backs up, hitting the dresser.

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