Page 67 of Secrets & Sake

Hiro grips my face between his hands. “Yours,” he whispers, and there’s no hesitation.

I’m in this. For however long this lasts, I’m in this with him.

After a time, Hiro rolls off me and lies in bed. I get up long enough to grab a washcloth then return to him. We catch our breath as I sweep the damp cloth over his chest and stomach, then down between his thighs. He shivers, and I kiss his swollen lips.

“Is this a red string of fate?” Hiro asks, lifting up his hand. The thread glows around his pinky. “I thought these only existed in stories.” He exhales. “There should really be a class for this kind of stuff. Introduction to Paranormal Society one-oh-one, or something.” Smiling sweetly, he brushes his knuckles over my cheek. “So… we were destined to meet, huh?”

“Guess so.”

He frowns. “You don’t sound happy about it.”

It’s more complicated than that, but I don’t know how to tell him.

“This is all so… different for me. I stopped believing in fate after my parents split, and my mom gave me this.” I fiddle with the five-yen coin around my neck.

“Do you know why she gave it to you?”

“I can only guess.”

“It’s five-yen. Maybe she meant it as a blessing?” Hiro touches the coin, smoothing his thumb over the design on it.

Five-yen coins are considered lucky by some people.

I exhale, suddenly nervous for reasons I’m not sure of. “My father… he gave this to my mother as a gift. The day he told her he loved her.”

I can’t even picture it. My father, smiling instead of drunk and angry, opening his heart to a woman he loved. My mother, accepting those feelings. So happy in that moment, only for it all to go to hell a few years later. I have to force myself to breathe. I’m not my father. Hiro won’t hurt me the way my parents hurt each other. I’m not sure I completely believe that, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take.

“My mother told me he gave it to her because he had a five-yen in his wallet the day he met her. The day she left, she gave it to me. I never really knew why, but I think she wanted me to have a fortunate life. Despite everything.”

I clear my throat as my voice wavers, and I pause, trying to breathe around the ache in my throat. Looking at Hiro is hard all of a sudden. I’ve never felt so exposed, and I don’t know how to deal with it. All I want is to curl up under the covers and hide all my scars and broken pieces in the dark where they belong. But I can’t. I’m trying to be better, aren’t I?

“I hated the damn thing for years. I could never bring myself to get rid of it, though. It felt like a cruel joke. A curse. Because for a long time, my life was anything but lucky.”

Heart pounding, I force my eyes from the coin and look in Hiro’s direction. There’s no judgment in Hiro’s eyes, only a look on his face so soft and sweet, and I would do anything to be deserving of it. “That changed recently, and I… I think it’s because of you.”

A quivery smile creeps over Hiro’s face. He looks like he wants to say something, but no words leave his lips. His expression is sweetly shocked, and I want to commit it to my memory.

My fingers shake as I clasp the rope at the back of my neck. I lift the necklace over my head and lay the coin flat in my palm. I take Hiro’s hand in mine, place the coin into his hand, and squeeze, closing Hiro’s fingers over the necklace.

“I want you to have it. It’s not much. I know.” I have to breathe through the insecurities trying to rear their ugly heads and hold on tight to Hiro’s hand. “You’re the best thing to happen to me. You’re my good fortune. My destiny.”

Hiro blinks, his eyes wet and glimmering. “Are you sure? It’s special to you.”

I kiss the back of his knuckles. “So are you.”

Hiro parts his lips as if to argue, but he doesn’t. Instead, he smiles big and wide. “Okay.”

How can such a simple word make me so damn happy?

Hiro adjusts the string so the necklace isn’t too long, then loops it over his head. The five-yen settles between his collarbones. Then, my arms are full of Hiro, our lips mashing together in a kiss that’s all teeth and tongue and joy. I kiss the hell out of him until we’re breathless, and our lips tingling and slick.

I handed him my heart, but he didn’t give it back. He accepted it, every crack, every piece.

Chapter 19

If I wasn’t in love before, then there isn’t a doubt left in my head now.

I love Raiden Noboru, and I’m almost positive those feelings are mutual.

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