Page 40 of Secrets & Sake

Raiden’s slippers slap over the wood flooring. Raiden grips my hands and tugs them down from my face to meet my gaze. “Because they had the fucking nerve to touch what’s mine.”

A shiver travels down my spine.

Raiden grips my hair at the nape of my neck, squeezing. “You’re off-limits. To anyone. I’m not a normal person, Sunshine. I’m not even a good person. But I protect what’s mine at any cost.”

I’m quiet, letting his words sink in. My disgust and horror has faded. This man risked evoking the anger of his boss… for me. Why? What have I done to be deserving of that?

I shake my head. “I’m not—”

He tugs on my hair in warning. “What?” His voice is low, urging me to choose my words carefully.

“I’m not worth that.”

His nostrils flare. “I decide what you’re worth to me.”

I don’t know what to say. Nobody has ever gone to such lengths for me.

“Why?” I croak.

He tilts his head, confused.

I clear my throat. “Why me? Why not anyone else?”

Why not someone like my brother?

Raiden takes in a breath and considers me, stroking his fingers through my hair. “I’ve dedicated my whole life to serving Namikawa. I never let myself think there could be anything outside the clan, and now… there’s you. There’s eating meals together and quiet nights in watching movies. This shitty, dark world of mine is suddenly brighter with you in it. I want to keep you for myself, separate from my life in the gang. So if anyone from my world tries to drag you into mine, I’ll do what I have to in order to keep you safe.” Something sad twists across his face. “I don’t know how long I can do that. Maybe I’m just kidding myself. Maybe you’d be better off if I’d just go away. I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you.”

I feel the same. For all that darkness inside him, he’s brightened my world, too. I don’t want to lose that.

“Be selfish,” I beg him, then I yank him in, and when his lips crash against mine, the sound that comes out of me is feral and unhinged. Somehow, we end up on the sofa, leather squeaking beneath me as I scoot back to give him room to sprawl between my legs.

I want all of him. All of his dark, all his light, for however long I can have him. Any moment together could be our last. This greed for him doesn’t feel like it will ever be sated.

There’s so much I want. I want to beg him to touch me, to possess me, body and soul, but I can’t because Raiden just won’t stop kissing me. He lavishes my mouth, sucking on my bottom lip, breaking the kiss only briefly to nip my chin. My eyes roll back, and I practically melt from the attention. I’ve never been kissed like this, like I’m somebody’s whole damn world.

Fuck. I don’t want to lose him.

We only stop kissing long enough to get my shirt off over my head. I sit up on my knees and crush my mouth to his, groaning when his tongue tangles with mine. I fumble with the buttons of his shirt, clumsy in my eagerness to feel his hard, warm body. With a roll of his shoulders, Raiden slides his shirt down his arms. The sight of his scars makes my chest ache. Splaying my fingers over his hot, firm pecs, I kiss the scars carved into the center of his chest.

Raiden’s chest hitches beneath my lips. Gripping my arms, Raiden falls backward and tugs me down atop him. When he bucks his hips against mine and the hard length of him grinds against me, I have to bite my lip so I don’t curse as I grind back down against him. Our chests touch, rising and falling faster as we pant for breath between hungry kisses. I give his plump lower lip a bite, then the column of his throat. One hand comes up to grip my hair, stroking as I flick his hard nipples with my tongue, then kiss my way down his quivering abs.

When I reach his waist, I undo his belt and he lifts his hips up so I can slide his pants and underwear down in one go. My mouth waters as his thick, hard cock curls up toward his stomach, the tip already dewy with pre-cum. “Fuck. You’re so beautiful,” I whisper, leaning in and kissing his hip. I need to show him what this means to me.

“Hiro,” Raiden groans as I suck the wide head of his cock into my mouth.

Suddenly, I’m aching to hear my name, my real name, tumbling from his lips. All my life, I’ve hated being Jinta Onodera. Jinta Onodera was never good enough, never fit in, never belonged to anyone. I want to be Jinta. Raiden’s Jinta.

“Fuck, Sunshine. That’s so good,” Raiden says, stroking my hair as I take him in deeper. When he moans as I swirl my tongue around the head, lapping at the pre-cum dribbling from his slit, satisfaction soars through me. I did that. Pleased him. Made him feel good. “Look so fucking sexy swallowing my cock.”

I bob up and down, and, moaning, Raiden rocks his hips to fuck my mouth. His brow creases, and he bites his lip. “That’s my good boy. Can you take more? I think you can.”

I’ve never been good enough for anyone else, but if I can be good for him, then maybe that can be enough.

Moaning around the thick, hot cock in my mouth, I suck him hard and deep. Raiden thrusts, and for a split second, he hits the back of my throat. My throat prickles, and I gag around him.

“Good, that was so good. Think you can take it again?”

I nod and swallow around him when he bucks up into my throat, eyes watering when his thick length briefly fills my throat and cuts off my airflow. My heart trips, but the thrill of choking on his cock is worth it. Reaching down, I cup his balls and squeeze, loving how hard they are already. If I keep this up, I’ll make him spill down my throat.

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