I march over to the table with a determination in my step that’s on the verge of anger. I know Lina is pissed at me, but I’m pissed at her too.
“Mind telling me what that was about?” I ask as I plop down in the chair Christian vacated.
“Didn’t he tell you?”
I shake my head. “He told me to ask you. So I’m asking. Talk.”
Her eyes narrow, and she pinches her lips into a thin line. “Why are you mad?”
“Seriously?” My eyes widen and my nostrils flare. “You said you wouldn’t run.”
“I’m not running. I’m—”
I slam my hand on the table. “The hell you aren’t. You’ve barely talked to me in three days. You’ve ignored my calls. Your text messages are limited to short answers, and you’ve refused to see me. If that’s not running, then what the hell is it?”
“I’m processing.” She yells. “You’re a lot to take, Chase.”
Her words are like a punch in the gut, and I instantly deflate. “Well then. Sorry to be such a burden to you. I’ll never help you again.”
I push to my feet and head for the door, but she grabs my arm before I make it past the table. “Chase.” Her voice is soft and apologetic. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
I keep my eyes trained on the floor. I can’t look at her right now. If I do, I’ll break. “Then how did you mean it?”
“It’s not you or the help. Sure, I’m pissed you asked the MC to help, but that’s not what’s wrong. It’s these feelings.” Her voice cracks, and when I look over at her, there are tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how to process what you said.”
“And what exactly did I say?”
She looks away and clenches her hands together on the table. She’s nervous and unsure of herself, which is so unlike Lina. “At the parlor. When we were … you know … and you said you loved me.”
I nod and glance around the game room. Thankfully, there aren’t many people here and no one seems to be paying attention to us, but still. This is a private matter. “This isn’t a conversation I’d like to have in public.”
“Chase, please.” This time her tears break free.
I want to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but if I do that, I’m screwed. I’m not exactly sure what those tears represent.
I hadn’t meant for those words to come out. Telling her I loved her for the first time in the heat of the moment was not my plan. Clearly, it freaked her out. The problem is, I don’t know what she’s most freaked out about. The words? That I said them and she doesn’t believe me? Or that she doesn’t return the sentiment?
At least I can address one of those concerns easily enough. Not much I can do about the others.
I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath. “I meant them. I love you, Lina. Very much. Those aren’t words I meant to say until I thought you were ready to hear them. I don’t expect you to tell me the same. Hell, I don’t expect anything from you except to not run. That’s what you promised me. But I guess this is too much for you.”
“No!” She cries out and grabs my arm, tugging me closer. “It’s not, but yet somehow it is.” She sags in her chair and drops her head. With her free hand, she wipes her cheeks dry. “Fuck … I sound like a crazy person. You’re not too much for me, and neither are your words. To be honest, I didn’t know if you meant them.”
Knowing this is a mistake, I reach out and cup her cheek. The minute her eyes meet mine, I pull her into my chest. “Like I said, I meant them. Never doubt my feelings for you. My heart is yours.”
When she looks up at me, her eyes widen and more tears well up in the corners. I sigh and drop my forehead to hers. “Take all the time you need, Lina. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
She fists her hands in my shirt and whimpers. I don’t know if I should hold her tighter or walk away. “You say that like you think we’re over.”
“Not for me, we’re not. What happens next is up to you.” Then I do the last thing I want to do. I let her go and head for the door. If she needs time, I’ll give it to her. I just hope it leads her back to my arms. Before I exit the game room, she calls out.
“Chase.” I look over my shoulder and nearly break into a million pieces when I see the tears running down her face. “It’s not over. I just …” She looks away and takes a deep breath before her eyes meet mine again. Then she presses her hand to her heart. “I just need time to figure this out. This is new to me, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
I nod, dragging my eyes from hers. Because I already hurt. Watching the woman I love cry when I can’t comfort her like I want to is one of the most painful moments of my life. Walking away only makes it hurt worse.
But I can’t fix this for her. She has to figure this one out on her own. I just hope when she does, I end up owning her heart the same way she owns mine.
* * *