Page 12 of Truck Off

I stare at the porch light outside the front door of the otherwise dark trailer for far too long. I don’t want to go inside.

I love my dad, and I’ll do anything for him, but I’m so tired of this life.

I’m sure he’s sitting in his recliner watching TV or reading one of the thrillers I got for him from the library. He loves those books and prefers reading to TV most days.

I can’t tell from out here, but I know the side table lamp is the only light on inside. It’s not very bright and provides a soft yellow light that Dad prefers. That way, he can’t take in the sight of the discolored paint on the walls and molding carpet.

Instead, he can get lost in his stories. He can pretend the roof isn’t leaking or the floor isn’t rotting or that there isn’t a stack of bills a mile high that we don’t have enough money to pay.

I want to get lost in a story and escape from my life for a while.

I sigh, knowing all too well that will never happen. I’m too pragmatic for that.

Slipping out of the car, I grab the meager bag of groceries I bought. My tips were decent tonight, but not enough that I could splurge on some of my favorite things. I could only get the food Dad needs and a couple of small things for myself.

Looks like it’s going to be another hungry week. At least until I get the water heater fixed and get caught up on the electric bill. They haven’t cut us off yet, but if I don’t make some extra cash fast, they just might. I don’t want to live without hot water and electricity.

The moon is bright and almost full. It reflects off the lake our small trailer sits next to in rippling waves. The water almost sparkles like the surface is dusted with diamonds.

If only. I’d harvest the hell out of that shit if it were possible. Now who’s getting lost in fantasies?

Pee Pee Lake is the only nice thing I can say about where we live. Sadly, we might be the only bad thing about this lake. Well, other than its name. Someone must have thought they were being funny when they decided to name it after the initials P.P. that an early settler, Major Paul Paine, carved onto a tree along the bank. The name draws lots of funny looks from both locals and out-of-towners.

It’s not very big, maybe ten acres or so, and we were one of the first ones to build on it decades ago when my grandparents bought this land. They’d used it for camping and fishing, but after Mom and Dad got married, my grandparents signed it over to my dad.

We’ve lived here ever since, in the same used trailer they bought back then. I’m sure it looked nice at one point, but now it looks like it should be condemned.

Since then, more of the shore has developed, and we’re surrounded by custom cabins and luxury homes that constantly remind me just how poor we really are. At least the view on the opposite shore is still undeveloped.

Feeling especially down, I pull out my phone and text my best friend, Jayla.

Lina: Any chance you can come over?

Jayla: Just got Lucy to bed and Mom’s here. So yeah.

Lina: Awesome. I could use some cheering up.

Jayla: Be there in twenty.

I slide my phone back into my pocket and head inside.

Dad is exactly how I pictured him in his chair reading. He glances up at me when I open the door, but he doesn’t speak. His expression is grumpy, and he doesn’t look happy.

“Hey, Dad. How’s your day been?” I ask, my cheerful tone sounding fake and insincere.

He grunts, which isn’t a good sign. Dad practically drank himself to death after Mom left us, and his liver hates him for it.

“Did you take your evening meds?” I ask as I set the groceries on the counter and check his dispenser. Nope, it’s all still here. “Dad, you can’t skip these.”

I dump tonight’s pills into my hand and fill a glass with water. He doesn’t look up from his book when I hand them to him.

“Dad, you can’t forget your meds. Your body needs these to function properly.”

He peers up at me and slams his books shut. With narrowed eyes, he takes the offered pills and water.

After he swallows them down, he lets out a long sigh, then asks, “I thought Jonas was coming to fix the water heater?”

“I did too, but apparently, he was too busy to fit us in.”

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