Page 106 of Truck Off

“It’s not that.” I sigh. “I’m not saying I love him, but my feelings for him are far deeper than I realized. Do you think he knows?”

Dad snorts. “Not with the way you’re acting. I’d be surprised if that man wasn’t second guessing everything about you.”

I let out a deep groan, making Dad laugh even harder. “Am I a bad person?”

“No.” He stops laughing and frowns. “You’re a stubborn pain in the ass. That’s for sure.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Let me finish,” he scolds. “But you have a heart of gold. You protect it, rightfully so I might add, which makes it hard for some to see it. But I’d say that man has already figured that out about you. He sees your heart, and he loves you for it.”

“How do you know he loves me?”

“Doll, all you gotta do is look at the way he looks at you. His eyes sparkle.” Dad wiggles his fingers in front of his eyes in an exaggerated motion. “Even when you’re pissing him off, his love for you shines through.”

I nod, taking in everything he’s saying. If I think about it and look back on all the time I’ve spent with Chase, I can see it. He always looks at me like I’m the best thing he’s ever seen.

“I’ve never been in love before, Dad. I don’t even know what it really feels like. What if I screw this up?”

He studies me for a moment. I can’t tell if it’s because he’s studying me to figure out if I’ve already screwed this thing up with Chase or if he’s thinking about his own mistakes. I’d be lying if I said his failed marriage to my mom hasn’t influenced my views on love. Because it has. Mom left us without hesitation. She walked out that door and never looked back. Dad never recovered from the loss.

“Well, that’s the thing about love. If it’s the right kind of love, it’ll last forever no matter what mistakes you make. If it’s wrong, well … it’s doomed anyway, and your mistakes won’t make a difference.” Dad pushes up from his recliner and comes to me. He rests his hand on my shoulder. “I know what you’re thinking. I loved your mom in the beginning. Would’ve done anything for her. I did, even after we fell out of love. I made great sacrifices for her that almost cost me my life. And she left us anyway. It was the wrong kind of love. We were never really meant to be.”

“What?” I gape at him. “But … You never got over mom.”

He waves a hand in the air as if to shoo away my words. “Not true. If it were right, she’d still be here, and I’d still love her. But she’s not, and I don’t. Truth is, we fell out of love long before she left. You kids kept her here for a while, but after some time, even that wasn’t enough. Sometimes love is just wrong.”

“Dad.” My entire body sags as the weight of my emotions pushes down on me like a ton of bricks. “How do I know if this is the right kind of love? I mean, what if it’s wrong, but I move forward like it’s right, and one day I wake up and realize we don’t fit together?”

“You listen to your heart, not your head. You can’t overthink love. You have to feel it.” Dad presses his hand over my heart and whispers. “What does your heart tell you, Lina? That’s what you have to listen to and learn to trust.”

“What if I can’t do that?”

“Then you’ll lose that man. Ask yourself how that would make you feel. I suspect that will give you a clue about your true feelings.”

Before I can ask Dad more questions, headlights illuminate the living room. I glance out the window to see two trucks pulling into our driveway. One is definitely Chase, but I’m not sure about the other.

Seeing Chase’s truck causes my heart to beat faster and my stomach to feel light. Is this how someone’s body reacts to the person they truly love? I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. I’m too new at relationships to decipher it yet. But I’m determined to figure it out.

Chase walks around the front of his truck just as the person driving the second one climbs out. Christian.

I haven’t seen Christian much since Chase and I started dating. But based on how he glared at me when I had breakfast with his family, Christian isn’t happy about it. I know it’s not because he’s jealous or likes me romantically. I’m getting hate vibes. When I asked Chase about his reaction, he told me not to worry about it.

Like that worked. It made me worry more. How is a relationship going to work between Chase and me if his twin brother can’t stand me? Those two are close, and I can’t be the one to come between them.

That concern is pushed to the back of my mind when Chase and Christian head to the door, each carrying two bags of ice.

I pull the door open before they knock, and Chase walks right in. He leans down and kisses me on the lips as he passes me and heads to the kitchen, with Christian trailing behind him.

“This ice should help keep everything cold while the generator catches up,” Chase says as he stuffs two bags into the freezer and the other two in the fridge.

“Generator?” I ask.

Chase nods. “It’s in the bed of my truck. Christian can help me get it hooked up. It’s a big one. Should keep you with power until I can settle things with the electric company.”

I cringe at his words, and this time it has nothing to do with his declaration to help. I don’t want his family knowing how hard things are for me. The fewer people who know my struggles, the better. I don’t need more small-town gossip.

Chase must sense my thoughts because he pulls me in for a hug and whispers in my ear. “It’s okay, baby. Christian is the last person who would ever judge you. You’re safe with us.”

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