Page 8 of Vale of Dreams

“Nia?” Her voice is too loud, and it echoes off the stone buildings.

My jaw drops for a few seconds before I manage to find my voice.

“Mom?”

CHAPTER 3

Guilt. Once I get past the shock, guilt washes over me.

What do others feel when they see their parents after a long time apart? Love, probably. Connection. Familiarity. Excitement.

For me, it’s just a black hole of guilt. All the letters I should have written her but didn’t. All the times I didn’t miss her. The relief that she was finally far away and I no longer had to look after her.

She walks toward me, her bony arms outstretched, and I can’t avoid noticing the slight stumble in her step, that unfocused stare. It’s six in the morning, and she’s either drunk or high. Maybe both.

She pulls me into a hug, all jagged angles. The familiar odor of cigarettes and alcohol envelopes her. She’s wearing an expensive suit that I haven’t seen her wear in years, with a silky cream shirt beneath it. But now, the clothes hang off her skeletal frame.

“Oh, Nia,” she shouts. “I’ve missed you so much, my dear girl.”

It sounds so caring, so motherly. But I instantly notice the way she glances backward to make sure Tarquin hears her. With Mom, every place is a theater, and there’s always an audience to impress. She’s probably already clocked by Tarquin’s accent and clothes that he comes from money. She knows the role to play for him—the loving mother.

And again, I feel a stab of guilt as those thoughts flit through my mind. Why can’t I just believe that she truly meant what she said? Sure, she has her own warped survival skills, but she really does love me. She must.

“I missed you too, Mom,” I say automatically.

“Did you? Last time you wrote me was over a month ago.” She laughs as she says it, as if she’s just teasing. But I know she felt abandoned.

I stare at her, unable to make sense of her appearance in this place. “What…what are you doing here?”

Her eyes widen, and she touches my arm. “Well, this lovely gentleman, Sir Tarquin, said I was in danger because of the European war with the Fey. He said that because you work here, the Fey might want to abduct me. For leverage. He paid for me to come all the way to Camelot. I had my own suite on the ship. Honey, I didn’t know you had anything to do with this Fey war.”

I glance at Tarquin. “Because my role here is supposed to be secret.”

He’s looking down at his nails. “Ah, well, yes, the thing is…most of us were raised here in Camelot, so our family is safe. For outsiders such as yourself, who knows what could happen? I was, of course, only trying to help.”

I hold my mom by the elbows. “You were never in danger. There was no way they could have found you all the way in California.”

“In the war, Nia.” She shakes her head. “I really never could have imagined. You were always so scared of taking risks. So timid. Everything was always such a big worry for you. Always fretting.”

“No, Mom, I had a normal number of worries.” I just didn’t want her lighting the sofa on fire again, or driving high as a kite and crashing her car into an abandoned Pizza Hut, or?—

She pulls out a cigarette. “Tarquin told me you’re the transportation. I realize that being a driver isn’t the most glamorous role, but surely you could have told me about it in a letter.”

“That’s not my title.” I can feel my face flushing. I’m torn between wanting to brag about my Avalon Steel and hating myself for even caring what she says in front of Tarquin.

She smiles a little too broadly, glancing back at Tarquin. “Young Sir Tarquin told me your job was to get people where they needed to go.”

“Mom…can you give me one second? I want to thank Tarquin for bringing you here, and then I’m all yours.”

“Of course. He’s a perfect gentleman. You should be very grateful.” She says this pointedly, lowering her chin and raising her eyebrows.

It’s a long, meaningful look, and I know she thinks he’s a catch.

I walk over to Tarquin, fantasizing about smashing my fist into his thin nose. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hiss at him.

His nostrils flare. “Honestly, I thought you’d be happy.” He waves at Mom and smiles. “All the outsiders have been bringing their families into Camelot for safety, but you somehow neglected to bring your own mother.”

“She was halfway across the world. She’s not in any danger, or at least she wasn’t until you brought her here. You know that.”

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