Page 67 of Caught Stealing

I give him a scathing side-eye glare, but once again, it loses its full effect in the dim lighting. I can’t even believe this is happening right now. “Rory, when I said we could meet to talk, I did not mean that you should show up to my house unannounced and do this. Whatever it is.” I motion toward the excessive number of lights jacking up my power bill. "I told you I'd call you when I was free."

“I know, but I thought maybe…” He releases a frustrated groan and flops onto my lawn chair. “Lottie, I’ll do anything. Please, please, come back to me.”

I drop my things on the chair opposite him and rub my hands over my face. This is not how I planned to end my evening, but here we are. Since he’s forced my hand, I supposed it’s time to get this over with. I’ve put it off for too long anyway, and now I’m annoyed and frustrated with him.

“I love you, Lottie. That never changed, and when I lost you I lost everything.”

I step forward and try to control the level of my voice. “You didn’t lose me, Rory. You dumped me for another woman! Don’t try to make this seem like I left you. I was happy and you ruined that for me. All of this would have been amazing months ago, but now it’s just…it’s…frustrating!” I throw my hands in the air.

“I know. I know that, and there hasn’t been a single day that I don’t regret everything I did. I’m only asking for a second chance to show you that I’m not that guy. I’m not the guy who cheats and runs out on someone he loves. I’m not. I’m…I’m not.”

Maybe he’s not. Maybe he got caught up in something and got in too deep. Maybe he did something stupid and regret has taught him a bitter lesson. But it doesn’t matter. He did it, and even if he’d never do it again, I've moved on.

“Rory, you keep saying that you’re sorry and telling me what you want. You say you want to fix things and make it up to me because you need me and love me, but you still haven’t asked me what I want or what I need.”

I sit beside him and try to calm my racing heart. I'm finally about to get the closure I need after waffling for weeks over how to tell him to kick rocks without destroying any headway he's made toward real repentance.

“I…I thought I had. I said I’d do anything you want. And I will, Lots. I’ll go to counseling with you, even go to church with you like you asked. I want to take it all back but I can’t.” He knows this is it, too. He’s throwing everything he’s got at me here, desperately clinging to whatever sliver he thinks he might have.

“Rory, I want you to go to church for you, not for me. That’s a whole different conversation, but this right now, this isn’t about that. This is about how I can forgive you, but I can’t forget. I’m not made that way. No one is.”

“I don’t know what that means.” His voice is strained and wavers.

“It means I can forgive you and wipe that slate clean. I can cheer for your team and pray that you make it to the majors like you always wanted. I can even pray that you find real and lasting love and never have to go through this again, but I can’t forget what happened. It’s proof we aren’t right for each other.”

“Lottie, I—”

I step back, halting him. “I’ve met someone else. I’m happy with Andrew. It’s still new, but I trust him and think there is a real, honest future for us.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath and he sighs deeply. “So, it’s true. You’re dating Andrew Rossi.”

“You heard?”

“I suspected when I saw how chummy you were with him at the carnival. I don’t know him well, but both of our teams are owned by the Dawson brothers. I’ve seen him at events.” His tone drips with jealousy and irritation.

“None of that really matters though. It wouldn’t matter if I weren’t seeing anyone, the point is that I can’t trust you again. I do hope you mean it when you say you’ve learned from this and I pray that you do find someone else to love and who loves you.”

He works his jaw and leans forward, settling his elbows on his knees. “I love you, Lots. I can’t pretend I don’t and just move on that easily.”

“You already did,” I whisper, reminding him that the reason we’re here right now was because he did just that.

Rory drops his head and rubs the back of his neck. “I made a mistake. A huge one. I’ve never loved anyone before you, and I was stupid to question it. I don’t need to find love. I have it.”

I shake my head. “No, I mean I hope you find love that doesn’t make you question it so much that you run out on it and tarnish it beyond repair. And that’s what this is. It’s broken. You might love me, but it isn’t beautiful love that lasts forever. I promise you, it isn’t.”

When he lifts his head and looks at me again, I know it’s finally gotten through to him. His eyes glisten with unshed tears, but I suspect it’s less about me and more about realizing I’m probably right. His life has been upended by something he did wrong, and now he has to suffer the consequences of his actions. Alone.

He leans back in the chair and nods. “Yeah. Okay. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It isn’t like I enjoy this,” I say. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”

Rory sighs. “I know that. If I know you at all, I know that this is hurting you. And that’s not what I want for you because, contrary to what you think, I do love you. I love you enough to know that you’re right. I’m not right for you at all. Not after what I did. I see that.”

Silence falls between us but not for long. My gate door slams open and Andrew barges into the backyard ready to fight. I lurch to my feet and rush toward him.

“Andrew!” Oh gosh, I completely forgot we were on the phone when Rory scared me. Andrew must have freaked out and rushed over to make sure that I’m okay. “It’s okay. I’m okay!”

His eyes settle on me and his body relaxes. “You screamed and then there was a crash. I didn’t know what happened. I tried calling you back but you…” His gaze shifts to Rory then to the lights and back to me. “Are…you okay?”

---