Page 21 of Caught Stealing

Most Sunday afternoons, I end up at Josie’s house for lunch, especially if we have choir practice in the evening. Josie and Nick are my comfort couple. The duo that makes me believe in love, that it has no limits, takes no prisoners, and never lets you down. They’ve been through it all and come out stronger after every hit, proving that it is possible to maintain your vows without resentment or frustration.

But after Rory, I’m not sure if love is for me. I can’t know if I’ll ever find the Nick to my Josie. The mere thought of putting myself out there again almost brings on a panic attack, but then I remember the honest, bright smile Andrew flashed me every time I made him laugh. The sparkle in his eyes when he twirled me around. How he breathed in my perfume without even trying to hide it. My knees go a little weak, forcing Josie to give me an odd side-eyed, pursed lip expression of concern.

Once all our goodbyes are shared and Josie has her youngest strapped into her car seat, she gives me her attention.

“Okay, hurry up and get to my house because I have to know what happened last night. You are one hundred percent back to the sunshine and confetti friend we’ve missed so much the past few months.”

“Must have been some kind of dreamy date,” Nick adds, leaning on the hood of their monster van.

“How can you even tell that from one morning?” I ask, rolling my eyes.

“It’s not hard. You didn’t mope even once this morning, and you’re wearing your silly flower hat.” Josie flicks the sunflower the kids love so much, reminding me that my emotions often show in my dress. And lately, it’s been boring.

I can’t help the first thought that pops into my head, that Nick would probably really like Andrew. They have the same vibe—alpha but not aggressive, protective and supportive, a little edgy but with a soft spot. The way Andrew talked about his dog has me convinced he’s got a super gooey center inside of that oh so attractive exterior. Just the thought of him, how he walked with confidence and protected me like it was second nature has me smiling all over again.

“Look at her,” Josie says. “She’s glowing.”

“All right, I’ll admit, the date was amazing. I’ll tell you all about it at the house over lunch. I’m starving.”

Nick taps the hood and waves the older kids toward the van. “All aboard! Train leaves in ten seconds!” Their kids scramble and pile in, ready for an afternoon of fun and games while I occupy their parents.

“Is Aunt Lottie coming over?” Hannah asks. Her little hands fight with the seatbelt latch, so Nick adjusts it and helps her push it in.

“Of course. The faster we buckle up, the faster we can head home.” Nick hands her a coloring book and double checks everyone before opening Josie’s door. “Your chariot, my lady.”

Josie climbs into the passenger seat like a princess and waves. My heart pinches with jealousy that radiates all the way from my toes to the top of my head. I long for what she has—a doting husband, adorable kids, the works—but I wasted a lot of time on a man who wasn’t as committed as I was. I think about last night and some of the frustration eases. I suppose it isn’t exactly jealousy, but an ache deep in my soul that cries out that I’m ready. I’m lonely. I want this. Where is my husband in this big old world?

I get into my car alone and drive to my best friend’s house, not for the first time wondering if I’m intruding on something precious. Should I spend so much time there, interrupting their family time together, or should I go home and grade papers instead?

Despite my worry, I make the turn toward Josie’s house anyway. If I skip lunch with them, she’ll know something is wrong. There isn’t really, unless you count the aching hole in my heart and the emptiness of my home. I sigh and grip the wheel, resolute that I will not let memories of Rory—the man I thought was my one—pull me back into a pit of despair. Especially not when I have a phone date with Andrew tonight.

When I arrive, things are already out of control. Josie and her family have only been home a few minutes. The dogs run amok, barking like a mini wolf pack while the kids scream from various rooms that they don’t know where their play shoes are.

I shut the door behind me and note Josies pinching the bridge of her nose. Her other hand rests on her hip. “I love my kids, but this is insane.”

“What happened in the thirty seconds before I pulled in behind you?”

Josie drops her hands and turns to face me. “Never underestimate the power of a child with crayons and a strong will to pilot jet craft.”

The way my brow furrows almost gives me a headache. “What?”

Josie waves her hands around. “They threw crayons at each other while making jet sounds. One hit Nick in the eye and I thought we were all going to die, then Colton found a half empty bottle of chocolate milk in the car from yesterday morning.”

“Tell me he didn’t—”

“He did. Then he gagged on it and projectile vomited down the back of the seat. My car is destroyed. I have to burn it now.” Josie’s blonde hair is still perfect despite her manic explanation—hands flying, little hops, and one dramatic swoop to explain how far the vomit spewed.

Nick wanders down the hall already changed. “Honey, I think Colton is going to—”

“Daddy! Colton is puking again!”

Josie presses her hands to her face and groans.

“Uh, I’m going to let you manage that and we can get lunch next week, okay?”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to run off,” Nick says, glancing between Josie and me. “We want to hear about your date.”

Colton wanders down the hall with vomit down his front and one of the dogs runs past with his pants. The toddler is half naked and the house is a circus. It also smells of day old chocolate milk vomit, and I have never been more out of a situation in my life.

---