Page 20 of Hate To Love You

Maybe I’m naïve after growing up reading books, reading about men who love their woman unconditionally, irrevocably, completely. How they look at them with such love and want and need. The grand gestures, the way they look at their significant others as if they’re the only woman in the world, the declarations of love.

I’ve never experienced a love like that myself. Dawson was a good boyfriend, but he didn’t treat me like a book boyfriend would. I know they’re just stories. I know they’re not real, and real men don’t act like that. Real life is not a romance novel. It’s not love songs and perfection. Real life is raw, broken. It’s imperfections and desperation.

But it must be out there, that kind of love. The passionate, exciting, obsessive kind of love. The happily ever afters. Even though I haven’t seen it for myself, I know it’s out there.

It has to be.

The sound of my phone vibrating against the table startles me awake. My eyes fly open, and I scan my surroundings, trying to figure out where I am.

The old library comes into focus as my body fully wakes up. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I am hunched over the table in the empty, dark library with “Wuthering Heights” open and slightly damp from where I must have drooled.

Lainey’s name is displayed on my phone, and I see I have several missed calls from her, Ellie, and Damian. Shit, it’s late. They have to be wondering where I am.

I peal myself off the table and answer the call.

“Hel-”

“Where the hell are you? We’ve been calling you for over an hour,” Lainey lectures into my ear. God, she’s like my mother.

“I’m at the library. I fell asleep, I’m coming home now,” Lainey repeats what I just said, assumingly to Ellie, Haley, and probably Damian.

“You’ve been there this whole time?” Lainey questions.

“Yes. I was working on my project with Ryker, he left, and I stayed. I must have passed out while I was reading.”

Lainey, Ellie, and Haley flipped out on me when Damian dropped the Ryker and I being partners bomb. I was forced to tell them everything about our first discussion in class, and our plans to meet up tonight.

Of course, they were ecstatic. Well, Lainey and Haley were, Ellie really looked like she didn’t care, which I appreciated. This isn’t a big deal, and I don’t want to make it one.

I pack my things into my bag, and as I stand, I can feel the strong ache in my neck from leaning over the table for so long. That’s probably going to be worse by tomorrow.

Flinging my bag over my shoulder, I switch my phone from my right ear to my left.

“I’m on my way home now. I’ll see you guys soon.”

“You shouldn’t walk, Gwen. It’s late and it’s dark,” Lainey tells me. Now she really sounds like my mother. I roll my eyes.

“I’m on campus, I’ll be fine, Lainey,” I hear her sigh on the other end.

“Fine. Love you, bitch,” Lainey teases. I shake my head and chuckle to myself.

“Love you too,” I reply, hanging up as I head out of the library and walk toward home.

I don’t usually walk at night. As a twenty-one-year-old woman, it’s not really safe, even on a college campus. They tell you college campuses are safe since there’s security. But the only thing campus security is good for is handing out stupid tickets and busting kids for smoking weed on campus.

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Ellington University’s campus is typically quiet, it’s when you get closer to the off-campus housing that the quiet becomes louder and a bit rowdier.

Off campus housing consists of one street, literally right next to campus, with six houses on either side of it, a big mansion sitting on each end.

The big brick mansion on the right end is perfectly manicured, the landscaping is straight out of a magazine, and a large flag hangs on the tall flagpole in the center of the lawn. “The Ellington Elite” with the Elite crest under it is spread across the fabric.

Across the street, a home just as large houses the one sorority that Ellington U has. And then there’s my house, the house Lainey, Haley, Ellie and I share, exactly three houses down from the sorority.

The sorority girls don’t usually hold any parties, but the Elite mansion? There’s a party there almost every weekend and sometimes weekdays.

Ellie and Lainey usually attend them, only for the sole purpose of pissing off Ellie’s brother. Holland gets annoyed when Ellie crashes his parties. She says he ‘feels like he’s babysitting her’, even though they’re the same age. Haley never attends parties; she doesn’t drink or do any recreational drugs since she’s an athlete. I tend to hang back with her for the most part.

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