Page 59 of Taste of Fate

“I’m such a dumbass,” I groaned, sinking back onto the couch with Bea.

“You are not,” she argued. “Cy’s the dumbass. If he’s fucked things up for good with you, he’s only got himself to blame.”

I shook my head, staring at the ceiling like he had been. “You know what’s crazy? The shit he said to me isn’t even the worst I’ve heard from a guy. I’ve been called all kinds of names, been told I wasn’t even pretty enough to fuck, you name it. And it never affected me. It all rolled off my back like water on a duck.”

“Yup, same.” Bea nodded sympathetically. “It hurts a lot more when you think they’re different. When you start to trust them and they turn that against you. It sucks really bad.”

“Fucking right?” I scoffed and sniffled some more. “Do you think any man of any species is worth trusting?”

“Couldn’t tell ya.” Bea gave a small shrug. “The last one I was willing to give it a shot with got locked away twenty years ago. And none of the vamps around here have steady partners. So it’s hard to say.”

I wiped my eyes. “That’s pretty much what I thought.”

“You know what I think?”

“Huh?”

Bea looked pensive, tapping her chin in thought. “I think Cy developed strong feelings for you too. And he’s scared of that. Scared of having a weakness, vulnerabilities. Scared of all the things that falling in love comes with. I bet he thinks he’s protecting you in some way. ”

“By being an asshole to me? How does that work?”

She shrugged. “Pushing you away into the arms of a more deserving vampire, maybe.”

“I don’t know,” I sighed.

“Well, fuck him in any case.”

I huffed out an exhausted, mirthless laugh. “Thanks, Bea. I promise I won’t encroach on your space for too long.”

“Nonsense, stay as long as you need. Want some chamomile tea?”

“Sure.”

She promptly burritoed me in a blanket, then got up to tinker in her kitchenette. It struck me then how this dynamic had flipped from what I was used to.

I was always the fortress that Amy found shelter in. When she needed me, I protected her, no matter what. If I needed something, I shoved it down because I needed to be strong for Amy. She was more important.

This time I was the one who needed a friend, a shelter in a storm. And I was so damn glad I had one.

“Hey, Bea?” I called out.

“Yes, my little chamomile flower?”

I smiled at the endearment. “You’re a lovely person and a really good friend. If there is a trustworthy vampire out there, I hope you find him and he treats you like gold.”

“Oh stop it,” she said over an electric kettle and the clink of tea cups. “Hopefully there’s two. Or even three. One for you, me, and your friend Amy.”

“I don’t think she’d ever go for a vampire, honestly.”

“Well if there is only one out there, the three of us will have to come up with some kind of custody schedule.”

“Custody?” I laughed. “Of a vampire boyfriend?”

“It has to be fair, doesn’t it? Equal time split amongst all of us.”

“Makes sense. Then we’ll see who’s the pet, huh?”

“Exactly!” Bea pointed at me. “That’s what I’m talking about. Make him our pet.”

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